hey! this is totally random but do you happen to have the original of this video of my banner? and/or any still photos? a couple of my older/not-so-techy relatives were asking if i could send them over 😅

E-A-G-L-E-S! PATTERN RELEASE!!!!
okay guys I finally finished this thing! getcher GO BIRDS crochet banner pattern right here, ya dirt!

start working on it now and maybe it'll be ready in time for football season. or start it the night before the superbowl like i did 😅
www.etsy.com/listing/4470...

*as always, be sure to obey all applicable laws and obtain permissions in triplicate before you put anything anywhere and never do anything that could cause any emotional distress to any kidnappers etc etc. i'm not a lawyer but my understanding is they only enforce the laws they like

it's wild that people have been making and installing the simple little FUCK ICE pattern i designed around town

the pattern is in my etsy if you want it. if you DM me, i'll give you a code to buy it for as close to nothing as i could get it. or if you're broke just lmk and you can have it for free

am i the only person who thinks "substack" should be some kinda sex thing where you get to top a bunch of people in a row?

everything i see about this guy just feels like "i am the new person you have to know about now" clickhole.com/i-am-the-new...

oh my god

as a bonus, your "giving" counts against your tax burden. so instead of paying taxes you can just pay your friends money through your charitable foundation

one thing that rocks is that it counts as "giving" if you "give" to a foundation named after you and completely controlled by you that exists almost exclusively to pay salaries to people you like (who are nominally employed by your foundation to do charitable work)

i don’t give a fucked ass

You know how they used to burn books and records? We should organize a Ring camera bonfire.

they left him in a cup of vinegar overnight

this part gotta SUCK

wait this could finally be a workable premise for a porn parody of maximum overdrive

big dicks might be our only hope

literally over a car, derek. their dicks get so big they fly over a car

it's me, a white person with glasses and a beard and my hair in a bun and a slutty shirt, sitting on my weight bench between sets in my pink-lit bedroom

it's a long pink crocheted banner that reads FUCK ICE FUCK ICE FUCK ICE over and over

feeling various pinks today

janie jaffe @janie_jaffe me: i am fundamentally opposed to the glorification of war and violence. history is a record of its atrocities my therapist: that's fair me: but i love it when a mech has two secret arms that pop out and smash another mechs head with a huge axe my therapist: who doesn't 1:49 AM • 2020-04-02

nothing brings back shame like "were you shitting?"

play a loud recording of a toilet flushing so whoever's on the other end thinks the noisy jerk is calling them from the bathroom

guilty as charged

i think certain acts of violence against these evil freaks would be, at worst, morally neutral

i love that even the cats were old-fashioned in the 60s

i really want someone to finally release a caffeine free version of monster

me, at the louvre

i really wanted to!

while we're at it we should really behead the king of england. dude sucks

i know people like him but GDT movies are so weightless. they always just feel like you're looking at stuff

putting "excellence in hating" on my cv

when people asked how long it took, i just told them it was faster than crocheting a sweater hahahah