‘Miss school and you’ll end up in court? That’s quite the message to send children’ Columnist Melissa Todd explores the pressure around school attendance, and asks if compulsory education says more about society than it does children.

Opinion: ‘Miss school and you’ll end up in court? That’s quite the message to send children’ share.google/LpoLqRJJWjzK...

This is a good one. For @kentonline.co.uk

I'm a sex worker, the government got this wrong with its porn crackdown You might think people screenshotting my intimate pictures is a bad thing...

I’m a sex worker, the government got this wrong with its porn crackdown metro.co.uk/2026/03/15/i... via @MetroUK

Thank you!

‘I’ve joined the Green Party – hope is rare, so I’m investing in it’ Columnist and sex worker Melissa Todd has joined the Green Party, saying its support for decriminalising sex work has given her hope in politics…

On joining the green party, V or @kentonline.co.uk

www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/...

Lifeline - Southwark Playhouse Elephant A heartfelt musical inspired by the life of Sir Alexander Fleming, starring a chorus of medical professionals and scientists alongside a professional cast.

Good grief, they've written a musical about penicillin. I do hope they don't rhyme it with thrillin' or killin'. Bought tickets anyway.

southwarkplayhouse.co.uk/productions/...

‘The next pandemic won’t scare us. That should scare us’ Columnist Melissa Todd discusses how Covid broke trust in public health, leaving even serious warnings about the Nipah virus filtered through memes…

On the nipah virus
www.kentonline.co.uk/kent/news/th...

Doing my show at the Tom Thumb in Margate 13 June! She also offered me 16tb May but that's Eurovision and my heart audibly shattered at the prospect.

Les of the helmet ( Five ) YouTube video by Les Hull

New podcast episode up! youtu.be/R5tdGOiS9JA?...

Oh wow! This I must see.

Oh goodness, how exciting! Keep me posted! Huge congratulations.

I'm doing Edinburgh!

My show Gag Writer will be at the Ivy Studio, 22-26 George Street, from 7-22 August at 10pm. Every night except Sundays. Do come!

DAVID SELVES In conversation with MELISSA TODD The world renown dominatrix Join David Selves and Melissa Todd for a no-holds-barred chat about the art of domination!

Being interviewed in Covent Garden next month! Cheap wine and an epically cool venue. www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/david-selv...

On the ubiquity of the paedo slur. Proud of this one.

DAVID SELVES In conversation with MELISSA TODD The world renown dominatrix Join David Selves and Melissa Todd for a no-holds-barred chat about the art of domination!

Eventbrite refuse to promote this, even for cash, because it's adult content. It's less adult than the vagina monologues, or many pantomimes. It's grown up debate. Please show your support for grown up debate by attending. Cheap wine too. March 12, London. www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/david-selv...

You can now book tickets for the Edinburgh preview of my show at the Bread & Roses in Clapham! Get clicking:

app.lineupnow.com/event/edinbu...

While most people had a Sunday roast yesterday,
@melissartodd.bsky.social & I shot a few clips & the only thing that got roasted was my bottom!

Though BB did a very good job at guarding my lingerie lol

Fetlife - @time_to_play
X (Twitter) - @JosieHMarks
Spanking Library - Store 854

Ha!

Shameless plug.

Oh gosh thank you so much!

‘Nobody risks drowning in the Channel for a shot at stallion-handling’ KentOnline columnist Melissa Todd attended a UKIP gathering and counter protest at the weekend, here is what she encountered…

I've been called a "washed up prozzy" for writing this. Why, I'm at the very peak of my career. Also, not relevant.
www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/...

Alex Branson-Cole Faversham's Boxer competing in the Southern Area Title Fight. YouTube video by Radio Faversham

"Do you enjoy hurting people?"

With the earnest and delightful Alex Branson Cole.

youtu.be/dO9qNNCKz6s?...

Gag Writer by Melissa Todd | Waterstones Buy Gag Writer by Melissa Todd from Waterstones today! Click and Collect from your local Waterstones or get FREE UK delivery on orders over £25.

New book available on Waterstones website too, Amazon haters! www.waterstones.com/book/gag-wri...

Reading from the new book at Screaming alley cabaret last night!

Saw @melissartodd.bsky.social yesterday in Gravesend reading from her new book and I absolutely recommend picking it up www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0FBL712S...
I haven't finished it yet but it's incredibly well written, very funny, and she was quite lovely in person too. So yeah. Buy this book is my advice

Thank you so much! Wonderful to meet you!

‘My reluctant digital detox was awful, wonderful, and completely pointless’ This week, KentOnline columnist Melissa Todd reveals how she coped without her phone for two whole weeks…

On being phoneless for a fortnight. For @kentonline.co.uk

www.kentonline.co.uk/kent/news/my...

Thank you!

A week today I will be in Gravesend reading from the new book and telling a few mucky anecdotes and it would be absolutely ripping were some of you to join me. facebook.com/events/s/hol...

From July 27 to August 10 I will have no internet access. At all. No phone, no nothing. So if you message me here or elsewhere I will not see it. Not ignoring you or dead, just off grid. And I can't tell you why either. Yet. But it's not prison.

Look! Love it! contains a Qr code so you can get to my book direct! With huge thanks to @graemealdy.bsky.social for making it happen. Thrilled!