Maybe you should have written 15 paragraphs like Phil Brooks’ agent does.

2025 has been all panic and no disco.

I am VHS tape years old.

Ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

If my only choices are to go big or go home I’m going home. All my stuff is there and I’m tired.

If you had a land line phone growing up it’s time to take some ibuprofen for your back pain.

Ever get a look at yourself in a self check out camera and it ruined your day for a little bit?

Me writing an email:

Please hesitate to reach out to me if you have further questions.

Whoever decided that the weekend should only be two days is an asshole.

I could really go for an 18 hour nap.

My plan for the weekend is to move just enough so that people don’t think I’m dead.

Spinning to get to my birth year on a website feels like I’m spinning the big wheel on The Price is Right.

I’m tired of creating new passwords.

My super hero powers include forgetting people‘s names right after they tell me.

Nothing says 'cowbow' like studded wrist gauntlets and gloves #TerryTuesday

My body is like an old phone battery that won’t charge past 20%.

I’ve never had a single email find me well.

Sidle up to the bar and enjoy #TerryTuesday

Two of the best of all time, no questions at this time #TerryTuesday

Even JR is shocked how much shit the Funker has on him #TerryTuesday

I think he should be released but only when he pays friends of mine the money he owes them. There I said it.

Tony Chimel in the house.

AR Fox v John Silver