Patriots are in control

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

A WHOLE CIVILIZATION WILL DIE TONIGHT My son needs lunch, and I have to put his backpack together, but a whole civilization will die tonight, so I'm wondering if they've closed their schools. Like, a snow day, maybe, except instead of snow it's "keep your children home so if you die, you die together" — instead of "well open back up once the plows have cleared" it's "we don't know if we'll be here tomorrow, hold your babies tight." It's just "talk" I'm told, which I've been told before. "It's how the president makes his deals." But I've never heard anyone talk about other human beings this way, and I'm not certain I can look my son in the eyes if we all agree to stomach it one more time. A civilization will die tonight, but as I zip up his backpack and kiss him off to school I think: if this is what we call leadership then I'm not entirely sure ours isn't already dead. @michaelfdubois Mukad A QuBoy @michacifdubois

Brutal.

A screenshot of David Cross and Bob Odenkirk in front of a NASA logo. Cross is speaking into a microphone at a podium. Text says " American can, should must, and will blow up the moon"

Today's the day.

it’s too late to make any improvements now

“Swim away from me, do ye?” murmured Ahab, gazing over into the water. There seemed but little in the words, but the tone conveyed more of deep helpless sadness than the insane old man had ever before evinced.

actually, the Singularity is when the number of writers exceeds the number of readers

and plunging into that blackness of darkness, seemed the material counterpart of her monomaniac commander’s soul

Our ranks are broke, and ruin follows us.

[Exit Murderer.]

no matter how bad you are at your job, no matter how crazy things might get, very few people in modern history have ever been more over their head while in charge of a more fucked up situation than kristi noem

Trust me, I'd love to be talking about something else. How.

all of this

There is no such thing as an anti-war film/song

I havent seen Train Dreams but you'll never top Jesus' Son for a Denis Johnson screen adaptation imho!

Ken should be the final boss in Tournament of Champions

their eternal strategy of finding common ground with all the Tom Buchanans out there

Cowards die many times before their deaths,
The valiant never taste of death but once.

What exactly needs to happen for you to take a real stand?

turning on the CNN coverage of the NY election with a wide, placid smile on my face

JOE BUCK: Welcome to the top of the 47th
[Sun rises]
[Sun keeps getting bigger]
BUCK: yes
[World engulfed by flames]
BUCK: oh god yes

Special teams can be the difference in a game, I've been saying this

You sicko

In the words of the bard Collinsworth, this is an "all time all timer"

🎶 blue jean baby, LA ladyyy 🎶

I believe this is my IP...

Ok Donnie, threaten Kendrick next, give him a reason, we need a new summer song

If history remembers you at all, it will be as a cowardly piece of shit.