Terry Jones as Brian's mum in Life of Brian's "he's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy" scene

"He's NOT the Messiah, he's a doctor actually"

I’m an anti overalls queer.

Stop trying to pull them off!!! You look like the dipshit from Of Mice and Men!

We’re gonna need a smaller mug though.

This snapped my vagina clean off.

Please be sure to log your rapture time as PTO and not sick leave on your HRIS. Your request will not be approved if you do not follow company guidelines. Please connect with your HR business partner to discuss our company’s rapture policy.

We Must Not Posthumously Sanitize Charlie Kirk's Hateful Life Influential anti-LGBTQ+ activist Charlie Kirk was assassinated on Wednesday. While condemning violence is something most can get behind, sanitization of his hate has gone too far.

There has been a rush among centrists like Gavin Newsom and Ezra Klein to brush over the hateful life of Charlie Kirk and valorize the man.

Let me be clear, killing Charlie Kirk was wrong and abhorrent.

We must condemn murder without sanitizing a man who built his empire on hate.

My latest piece.

Putin must be laughing his socks off that Kirk gets murdered right after his drone stunt, US politics thereby being thrown into chaos yet again and any sensible response vs Russia impossible.

Editorial: That meeting was sickening. Putin loved it Sickening. Shameful. And in the end, useless. Those were the words that came to mind when we watched the Alaska Summit unfold. On our screens, a blood-soaked dictator and war criminal received a roy...

Art of the deal!

kyivindependent.com/editorial-th...

The movie that’s my guilty pleasure and emotional support movie is a Knight’s Tale. I love medieval history and accuracy is important to me. This movie is not accurate but if anyone dares criticizes this film, they’re wrong. WRONG.

LISTEN UP FAGGOTS we are gonna cyber bully Connecticut

I have not lived there for a while it is a very silly place. Connecticut? More like Nothanksidrathershootmyselficut.

Why is the Connecticut Democratic Party following me on this platform? I’m literally just here to shitpost and to boost my friends’ porn account numbers.

Fork found in kitchen

Please everybody listen to the tsunami advisories.

Tsunamis are nocturnal and hunt in packs. While they are endangered, never pet a tsunami.

They are indigenous to Peru, but have since populated the southern hemisphere. We now know them today as the lovable pets to many celebrities such as Oprah.

I do not have enough minions on this application

So true!

I feel like Brendan should be on this application.

My hip randomly hurt last week and that’s when I knew I was at least 27 years of age.

God, grant me the confidence of a Bernie bro who thinks Bernie would’ve won the general.

A newspaper headline that reads - I swear to god - New Town Mayor is Dick Sweatman.

Call me the New Town Mayor the way I make his Dick Sweatman

It’s like my grandpappy would say, “croutons are the dingleberries of the salad.”

Why won’t AOC endorse ME eating the ENTIRE FORTUNE COOKIE (with the paper) to impress the COOL KIDS in HIGH SCHOOL while I was ENROLLED in HIGH SCHOOL?

“Which one is the boy and which one is the other boy?”

“Which one is the one who asked for the open relationship and which one is the one who resents it and sneers at the visiting twink?”

Here Is Everything That Has Changed Since Congestion Pricing Started in New York Fewer cars. Faster travel. Less honking. And some questions we still can’t answer.

Fewer cars. Faster travel. Less honking. Here are the things that have shifted since congestion pricing went into effect in New York.

I’m at the crepe place impulsively having crepes and the fat man version of “somewhere over the rainbow” is playing and I feel like this is a read.

Honestly after watching Andor, the scene of Mon Mothma having a breakdown on the dance floor is highly relatable and I now stan her.

I just saw a white Afrikaner eating the cats! They’re eating the dogs!

Habemus cumcum

Everyone is talking about the pope but NOBODY is talking about my thick juicy pussy :-((((((

Oh I literally get road rage while walking in this town. I actually think the San Francisco pedestrian etiquette is especially aloof and self-centered.