Me to 3yo: What do you want for your birthday party theme?

3yo: “Poopoo & peepee theme! We can get apple juice for the pee, so a skeleton pees and you drink the skeleton pee but it’s okay because it’s juice”

Me: ..K I was thinking like “dinosaurs” but let’s put a pin in “piss fountain of the dead”

By far my hittest skeet. Let's all snort creatine like beetle snuff.

Ferengi gym bro all about them gains

A billboard for a lawfirm called Pusch and Nguyen with the tagline "We Push, you win"

A billboard as follows: Guess who's not in the Epstein files PUSCH & WYNNE INJURY LAWYERS

Pusch: I'm tired of your bullshit.

Nguyen: What are you gonna do? That ad is gold!

Pusch: You think you're better than me? I don't even like that ad.

Wynne: Hi my name is Wynne am I early? Has he left?

N: You're stealing my ad pitch?!

P: No, we're making our own ad, his name is unrelated.

His ship in starfox command for the DS was one of the least fun to play

Yes my son. Yes it is a thing. You have done well; rest your weary bones.

ME: the opposite of antibiotic is unclebiotic

PHARMACIST: the opposite of probiotic is amateurbiotic

*we kiss*

If this is it, I just wish I did more with it. And by it, well, I mean my peanitz

in the jungle, the alpha jungle, the lion's sleepmogging tonight

Raisins don't have souls, grapes do

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah

Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen

Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah

Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

when i become mayor your penis will not dissappear inside of your balls whenever you sit down . That will not happen anymore

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I don't want to be Apollo to this Artemis but my gift of prophecy tells me something's going to go wrong

I can’t get mad about a Super Mario movie like I can’t get mad at the restaurant that has a kids menu where the kids can write on the piece of paper with crayons. It’s for them to enjoy

My April Fools jokes have been, and remain, various legally actionable threats against individuals. Hahaha

Good morning. "Jerry Chen Seeking Verification" was a 32-month sociological experiment studying the effects of excessive nagging on social media and its effects on users, conducted by Quinnipiac University. We are now complete with our study; thank you for your time.

hey is it okay if I pronounce microscopic like my cross co-pick

So it's an embarrassing mistake, but a low stakes one. At least that's my impression.

Thinking through how their software capital is so worthless it doesn't matter if you just gave it away leads to what I'll call "fun time thoughts"

I'm still a little unclear on what anthropic did exactly, but failing to configure source maps is a pretty easy oopsie. And you don't think about it too much because "who cares they could have just reversed it if they wanted to" is a thought. People were already digging into how their code before.

Pretend instead of a stupidly highly valued company it was a Minecraft mod. A lot of Minecraft mods are distributed obfuscated, but it's debatable how much value that preserves.

I mean - in the context of most kinds of tools you will distribute to people, you just usually assume that a dedicated enough person can reverse engineer it.

@edzitron.com Have you considered that "The Big Short 2" might suck? The Enron movie is lower mid at best, you are aware of this now.

One two skip a few, you should give me exclusive interviews. No other aspiring director will blow as much VFX budget on "za worldo" as your hopes demand

Programmers are superstitious, irrational, uneducated, etc. Nearly every negative adjective you use to describe the field, the average practitioner, or the quality of the end product would be met with "yeah, sounds about right"

"What if iFunny gave you the dark thoughts?"

- Bluesky pitch meeting

If anything what feels like might (might!) save us this time is Globalism, Organizing, Oil dependence, Nuclear deterrence, the Internet, and Nincompoops

GOONIN'

kwisatz haderach? i hardly know 'er rack!

Why are so many newspapers like "The <Place> Times/Tribune/Chronicle/whatever"

If I had a newspaper I would call it a newspaper. "The Boston Newspaper"

I don't like otters. They may not be ensouled

It is not possible to get out of bed on time. We don't have the technology