Gwladys Street limbs. 🤩

Nothing says avoiding an existential crisis like bringing back a leader whose entire government resigned en masse rather than serve another day under him

Lovely.

Muted celebration against a team you played 15 games for. Dark day for football.

“I can’t believe what I’m seeing,” says Alan Shearer about the European champions coming from behind to beat a team that have bottled dozens of games this season.

When I watch the Championship

To be fair to City, that should’ve finished 2-2 on the grounds that Diaz apologised to the home supporters for scoring. Pathetic behaviour - right up there with avoiding stepping on big club badges that are on the floor as a mark of respect. Grow up.

A middle aged man helplessly holds an alligator’s tail as it steals his hat

In a sentence never before uttered by humans, I am delighted to share that an alligator stole my conservation instructor’s hat by jauntily walking into the water while wearing it 🐊

‘I find my mother in law overbearing. In comedy, that’s radical.’

‘When I come on stage I say I know what you’re thinking, Ed Sheeran’s let himself go. In comedy, that’s radical.’

‘If someone knocks twice, I ask who’s there. In comedy, that’s radical.’

how the fuck is this real lmao

Where the hell is Lin-Manuel Miranda? Why isn’t he, in full costume, outside the Treasury Department, right now, RAPPING?!

The easiest way to find out how many British people are in any room, no matter how large the group, is to bring out a box of these.

Regardless the situation, the tittering and muffled laughter will always give the British away.

my pitch for a third Babe movie would be that instead of going to another city or even country, Babe the pig is accidentally sent to human hell and has to traverse its 9 circles in a picaresque journey through the worst humans of all-time, in order to return home.

Nobody asked for this but I compiled a list of towns in southern Spain that sound like prescription drugs:

- Genalguacil
- Algatocin
- Torviczon
- Molvizar
- Motril
- Albaicin
- Tolox
- Monachil
- Sorvilan
- Benizalon
- Juncaril

Match Report: RB Leipzig (H) A fiery evening against that lot

The most fun of 0:0 draws. Relive increasingly hazy memories of a fine evening at the Alte Försterei here:

www.unionberlin.international/blog/union-rbl

#fcunion #unveu

also I can’t believe it’s called DOGE, we’ve normalized so much but it would be like if a gigantic historic thing bringing about constitutional crises were called like “You Done Goofed Institute of Cash Me Outside.”

I’m sick of these Nirvana reunions that don’t include the band’s lead singer and most famous member. Sure, Kurt Cobain hasn’t performed in public for a long time (he might have some kind of health problem), but it still feels rude

Does anyone know if King Charles has officially sanctioned the Royal Rumble since becoming monarch? If not the WWE could find themselves in legal jeopardy

February: I'm the shortest month.
February 2025: I SHALL LAST FOR 10,000 YEARS.

Have you done Roger Milla dancing with the corner flag at Italia 90?

Lionel Richie and a drummer wearing white gloves

It took my brain way too long to work out that that wasn't a noose behind Lionel, so long in fact that I questioned if "Dancing on the ceiling" had a hidden meaning.

Bill Clinton, who did not have sex with that woman, quaffing a pint of Guinness

Did someone say beveragino

Ad in a grocery store of someone in flannel holding a beer. Text reads: “it is what it is but a cold beer always helps”

“You finish that ad copy for the generic concept of beer?”
-“Sure did boss, real fuckin depressing just like you asked”
“What”

Video shows R subway train stolen in NYC, taken for joyride Police are searching for three people they say stole an R subway train over the weekend and posted their joyride on social media.

Sowing: Hell yeah, I'm in control of the damn R train baby!
Reaping: [10 minutes later, exhausted] "Let 'em off, people, let 'em off. Please do not hold the doors, there is another train just behind this one. Step in and stand clear, 28th Street, 28th Street is next."
www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news...

Oddly fascinated by the BBC's ability to use accurate language in headlines about Germany, but not the US.