After 10 days of work, we finally finished painting the bedroom last night and now it feels like Friday even though it's Wednesday

Post you in another country etc etc

As someone who is frequently photographed professionally, I live by the simple rules of thumbs in pockets, chin up, face tilted slightly to the left, tail bone tucked. Appreciate it'll be a slightly different thing for your shoots but idk, that's what works for me

Always from people who post the dullest crap on there too 🤔

What do you mean in S3E3 (Gridlock) Thomas Kincade Brannigan refers to the 10th Doctor as a "street strut" and not a "street slut"?! What do you mean?!

A post affixed to the wall bearing the words (in all caps): "TO THE SELFISH NITWIT WHO SWIPED ALL THE WALL MAGNETS Kindly replace them ASAP"

I can only hope the new owners of my work will have a big magnet budget 😨

Beginning to think B&Q is a psy-op designed to make us all appreciate painter-decorators more

The truest means of showing me affection is to simply prove the following statement correct:

"Jack does not have to do everything for things to get done."

Tickets for The Mad King acquired! I am READYYYYYY!!!!!

This platform isn't growing every day, that's probably why

thinks she possesses. Somebody lied to her several times and told her she was fly, hot, sexy and went to places people want to go. And she's nothing like that, she's nothing of the sort

em back and on the rack and she should never even have purchased them because she was UNQUALIFIED to own those shoes if that's the case. And um I think the Edgware Branch is just a disgrace. She's a disgrace to tube lines which are actually beautiful and classy. She does not have the vernacular she

Pretty much I would let The Edgware Branch know that she is a fat c*nt and the shoes that she gave me were NOT something I would particularly buy for myself... they were OLD MAIDEN type of shoes. She said those shoes were meant to be worn on a beautiful woman so if that's the case she shoulda put th

You want a Westeros movie idea? Give me the War Of The Ninepenny Kings. Built in cast of wacky villains, real stakes (no dragons) origin stories for characters people will already be familiar from Game Of Thrones, and a pretty much untouched period of the in-universe mythology? It'd be sick

‘Game of Thrones’ Movie Officially Titled ‘Aegon’s Conquest’ The 'Game of Thrones' movie officially has a title: 'Game of Thrones: Aegon's Conquest.'

I am a huge ASOIAF fan but this just seems so boring to me. Like, dragons, fire, blood, war etc but there are also basically no stakes to any of it. Literally every obstacle is solved by setting fire to it with dragons, which is going to make for a very dull film variety.com/2026/film/ne...

I'm going to blow up at the next person I see getting on the tube before everyone has got off.

Also, FWIW, Mancunians are by far the rudest people in the UK for my money - if I think of every unpleasant interaction I've had with a stranger over the last ten years, at least two thirds have been in Manchester

(Primarily from gay men, I'm sorry to say)

Just wrote a funny column about why Londoners are friendlier than people from any other part of the country

Can't wait to see how furious this makes readers 🙃

We have been sanding our bedroom walls ahead of painting it and I am covered in dust 🙃

Like I love a hardback book if it's a really special book or a present or something to be treasured, but if it's for general reading a paperback is better in literally every way. I can fall in love with a book in paperback which I feel at a remove from in hardback

Controversial opinion but here goes:

Paperbacks > hardbacks

I am having a fun time, thank you very much 😊

They're brownie bites or something, I think

The absolute state of this 🤢

My dream is to go on Mastermind where my specialist subject would be "The Difference Between Raisins and Sultanas"

Currently I refer to all of them as 'currants' though so it will be a long journey for me ⛰️

Patrick could also learn to do this 👀

Listening to an audiobook and the narrator just pronounced the word 'misshapen' like 'miss happen'

👁️👄👁️

The worst kind of gay

I think large companies are just gonna do whatever saves them the most money tbf

I am as woke as they come but I truly don't care whether my delivery is coming via electric vehicle tbh