sisyphus with his rock, my damned uterus with its cramps. gonna spite my ute by not having a baby or something. damn.

i wonder if tiger moms exist because they couldn’t achieve their dreams but need to give their all to something, and that something may as well be a second chance at dreaming

i write all of these posts thinking “haha yell to the void no one will judge” and then wonder why i don’t journal. damn girl do you crave connection to others that bad?

i don’t really think i could make it though in all truthfulness. i don’t have enough pain or depth of emotion, and i don’t welcome the discomfort of rejection. like why am i writing all this on a platform that no one looks at. i couldn’t even do it

i want to spend 15 hours a day reading philosophy books and painting and sketching and writing and i’m trapped in a minimum wage admin job for an organization that matters and i need to make money because recession and i have no generational wealth but god do i need to be an artist

i had two surgeries for a pre-cancerous mole and it’s making me feel a crazy huge desire to live and create art and yell to the people of the world that life is fragile and we should be all the softer and more gentle for it

asking bc work is sucking my soul out through my nose and i’d really like to quit my job to do something that means something

how long can one suppress the need to create and connect before it gets to be too much

she’s watching anime with me

when the matcha supplies run out locally from tariffs, the US is going to start smuggling opium into japanese ports

people making matcha into milky lattes is basically just the modern equivalent of british people putting milk into chinese black tea and developing a crippling addiction

raining today after not raining for over a month and i am being deeply overcome by the white person urge to say “oh yeah we needed that” and “i don’t have to water the plants today:)”

liking my own post because i just saw someone with a phd make the same take on tiktok rn (my brain is huge they should make me a doctor)

same goes for cyber truck with brand logo. ur dead to me idc

average reaction to be told to calm down

she’s kind of 😐 (it’s because she’s very mad)

the lick of despicable rage and consumptive desire (for fingies)

i wore it to meet someone who i was told is a lot like me. they were trying to thrift an outfit from 2014 hypebeast pinterest and then they said a bunch of eating disorder triggering things. the vibe was rancid. i’m devastated to be compared to that LMAO

like do you see the little dots on my collarbones? that’s so cute. i fucking cooked. argh.

also this look was so cute and i feel like i wasted it lol (y3 beret, tie neck scarf, undercover sweater, ground y pants over hysteric glamour jeans + demonia shakers).

especially because right now i have this cancer lite thing happening. if i posted it somewhere people actually looked at, id get all these sympathy messages. i just want to vague post about this stupid not-cancer that’s kind of cancer

it’s kind of nice just posting into the void here? like no interactions, no risk

you’re going to be able to cook toad in the hole in my mf chest by the time they get all the cells gawd damn

i have to get ANOTHER surgery, thereby delaying my tattoo appointment

hot girl summer delayed by cancer

adhd vs boring task (i’m boutta kms if i don’t lock in)

walking to my appointment in an environmentalist, hot girl, subversive way

if i ever seen a store or brand with bitcoin i simply will not shop there again

fighting an addiction makes every day an achievement or a massive disappointment

i think what makes me maddest about ai art is that as a society, people are not interested in creating, learning or growing. they are too tired, too self involved, too poor, and lacking in the time to create or communicate. ai art is a byproduct of a diseased society.