leave adam conover alone 😭

i wish i could walk up to him jehovah’s witness style with pamphlets and ask “have you heard the good word of being an actual leftist?” but idk good for him for having his heart in the right place maybe lmao idk

then he walked out and got into a giant lifted truck with a full back windshield banner of an american flag that said “redneck” so yeah i’m confused and perhaps so is that man on what liberal actually means.

at the bank a man leaving asked an employee what deodorizer they’re using because every time he comes in it smells so pleasant… & the customer already talking to her said “must be all the money in here making it smell great.” to which the man responded “nah man, money smells terrible… i’m a liberal”

i wish this place was cooler

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. We need to fix this before mom comes home.

helloooooooo baaaaby

this is the big bopper speaking

i'm a ghost!!!!! ghosts are real!!!! aaaah!!!! heaven and hell are fake but ghosts are real my consciousness remains i cannot interact with anything the world exists only as flickering shadows

dallas sports teams hate their fans lmao

what if i move to seattle

u don’t have to rub it in

whenever i try to plan out a daily schedule / routine with my work schedule i get really envious of yall with day jobs bc working 3pm to midnightish is sort of trash

giving the mcdonald’s shake machine protocol to important medical equipment shouldn’t go horribly wrong at all.

the sequel to the president and all his ghouls do shocking, vile things and face zero consequences

everything is bad

my maga coworkers told me liberals are saying trump is going to turn the country communist so i’m here on the liberal echo chamber app to ask: are yall really?

i spent the last hour crying over how wholesome all the videos are on red note from chinese people being excited to learn about american culture and visa versa and now i’m anxious about americans fucking up this internet diplomacy

if i could freaky friday switch places with anyone it would be him tbh

if you think zero sugar soda is gross find a cherry variation of ur soda of choice and it will convert u

hating should be both fun and easy. if hating takes up a lot of your time and makes you madder, you are simply not built to be a natural hater. its ok

Best review for a show I’ve ever had. See me live: adamconover.net/tourdates

counterpoint: cashew farming requires actual human torture

the word “cum” makes me cringe but it was ok when @adamconover.net said it 100 times tonight ♡

today on instagram i got a targeted ad for an anti-woke health insurance company where the “bad” insurance company was approving claims for abortion, gender affirming care, & illegal immigrants and then took all the “regular” person’s money and like WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY ON ABOUT ANYMORE

i hope one day i stop feeling physically ill when a man says something flirty to me — not because i want to
romantically interact with men, i just hate feeling nauseous.

I think things would have gone differently if joe biden had said skibidee toilet on the campaign trail. I mean I don’t know if he would have won but it would have been different, every choice we make or don't make unfolds in infinite different directions with infinite outcomes

tip your drivers well and don’t order from places far af away. the entire restaurant industry is exploitative like what are yall talking about

i get there’s a lot of faults with food delivery apps but yall come across so unserious when you’re calling them signs of fascism

is there a city where people drive like they value their own lives and can i move there

the most exciting thing that happened to me last year was when standing in the dish pit at my old job i did the beat for the mortal kombat song with the little sprayer and my chef looked at me and said “fight”