I know I've only gone twice, but I don't think I'm booking another appointment. Everyday feels harder to get through, and honestly I'm just done. I don't think there's a good outcome at this point. It's just something I'll have to live with forever, and there's no changing it.
Oh wait, I never posted pics of my cosplay for Miku Expo!!! Cosplaying Oliver instead of Miku was the right move, because it was fuckin' wimdy >_> ALSO, my roomate designed these nails (✪▽✪) They look so good, but I could not do anything while wearing them (ノ﹏ヽ)
#vocaloid #cosplay
Honourable mentions: Ouran Highschool Host Club, the entire Vocaloid fandom, and Genshin Impact
YIPPIE!!! YOU'RE MOVING UP IN THE WORLD (੭˙Ⱉ˙)੭
Okay, good! I should probably just like, not rough house and beat up my friends though
（´∇｀''）
Are you okay, though? I still feel bad about you hitting your head (｡﹏｡")
Feeling violent >:3c
Just got done with my first session, and it went pretty alright; just basic getting to know me and the reason why I'm there kinda stuff. I could have been a little more open, but it's going to be a little longer before that happens; I'm going to book another appointment. One day I'll wash my dishes.
I got a therapy appointment scheduled for tomorrow. I'll admit, my expectations are low, but I'm still willing to try. All of this is self-inflicted, and I'm the only one who can fix myself, so I doubt therapy will actually help me. I'll take it as a win if it motivates me to wash my dishes, though.
I wish I wasn't tired all the time. I'm tired of sleeping though everyday instead of living. I want to look forward to waking up. I want the motivation to wake up. I want to enjoy things again. I wish I could stop tearing myself apart. I wish I could stop hurting myself. I just wish I was normal.
Back to sleeping the day away
My body feels like static
I JUST HAD THE BEST IDEA EVER!!! I've been sleeping twelve to fifteen hours everyday for over three months now, so what if I just don't sleep? If I never *go* to bed, then I can't *stay* in bed! My conclusion is that if I avoid rotting away in bed, then my depression will go away!!!
Finally took a shower for the first time in four days :D
I'm just a gross, disgusting, greasy little rat that clawed its way out of the sewers.
I regret waking up this early. My head hurts. Work was even more unbearable than usual. Not worth it. Give me my fifteen hours of sleep please.
Thank you!!!! I only slept for ten hours :D
I DIDN'T SLEEP IN 'TILL NOON TODAY!!!!! I mean, I woke up at 11:59, but that's still techincally morning!
I'm becoming numb to my coping mechanisms, how cooked am I?
Going to work everyday while watching my mental health further decline
I MOVED UP IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!! I DISCOVERED UNCRUSTABLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know it's only been a day, but I'm really nervous about being rejected again. I know therapy isn't some magical cure that'll make my life better, but I did have to fill out a questionair and I made the effort to be honest and vulnerable; so it will be hella embarassing if I was declined again.
A ham sandwich?
So, a hotdog?
A burger specifically?
I can't tell if I'm chronically exhausted from being depressed, or from only eating a bowl of cereal everyday for the past two months
I DON'T HAVE TO WORK TODAY I DON'T HAVE TO WORK TODAY I DON'T HAVE TO WORK TODAY I DON'T HAVE TO WORK TODAY I DON'T HAVE TO WORK TODAY WE'RE CLOSED TODAY AND I DON'T HAVE TO WORK AND I DON'T HAVE TO DO MY JOB AND I GET THE DAY OFF THIS IS SO PEAK NEVER KILL YOURSELF LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I just sent in a referral to a different place. I'm scared of being rejected again, but I guess it is what it is. Therapy is overrated anyways. I don't need it. I'm fine. It doesn't matter.
Guess who went to work today. At least it fueled me with enough spite to draw for the first time in a while; go, my shitty ibispaint ame-chan clown
What if I just didn't go to work tomorrow lmao
