"Oh my god, this is happening. You will tell me EVERYTHING after, Stede Morticia Bonnet, or I'll never speak to you again."

168. Stede Morticia Bonnet

"You're Israel fucking Hands, man. Most feared first mate in the Seven Seas." How many of their problems could've been avoided if only Izzy believed in himself first, instead of Ed? "Maybe that's enough."

167. Israel fucking Hands

one shiny rich bastard did best him, hey? And it wasn't Chauncey fucking Badminton. Fuck this. He snatches up the bottle of rum and takes three good gulps, gasping at the end.

166. Chauncey fucking Badminton

Nigel fucking Badminton. All these years they've ended up circling each other at arm's length.

165. Nigel fucking Badminton

The sight of the man's name makes his stomach fizz in the strangest way, and he pauses with his fist halfway to knocking. Stede fucking Bonnet, what the hell.

164. Stede fucking Bonnet

a tweet by @butchbonnet: if stede elizabeth bonnet does not rescue edward teach's red silk from the waves to deliver safely and romantically back to him, i will fucking jetski down to the caribbean myself and fish is out of the sea with my bare teeth, my chompers. motherfucker

163: Stede Elizabeth Bonnet

"Holy shit," Jim says, but now they're looking straight at Ed. "You're Edward fucking Teach."

162. Edward fucking Teach

history, because let's be real, nobody could invent Stede fucking Bonnet. The guy's one of a kind.

161. Stede fucking Bonnet

The front door opened and Stede freaking Bonnet walked out the front door.

160. Stede freaking Bonnet

Imagine calling up Edward Teach, salvage diver, asking him about the Queen Anne's Revenge, and introducing yourself as Stede fucking Bonnet, like it was nothing.

159. Stede fucking Bonnet

"Stede Montague Sterling Bonnet," Martha snapped at her son, "You will sit down and listen."

158. Stede Montague Sterling Bonnet

killed and maimed and endured watered-down tavern beer and the company of Izzy "Thirteen" Hands for this man without understanding that the thing propelling his body forward was love, the greatest love of his life.

157. Izzy "Thirteen" Hands

With all my love, Stede Bartholomewl Bonnet <3

156. Stede Bartholomewl Bonnet

His brain is still half-dreaming, half-dead, and the only thing that carried over fully intact from there to here is Stede fucking Bonnet.

155. Stede fucking Bonnet

The Ned Fucking Low ruins everything.

154. Ned Fucking Low

Lucius was right all along. It had been life beginning anew. For Stede Fucking Bonnet.

153. Stede Fucking Bonnet

Mind you, he thinks, judging from his description in the True Journal, if anyone was going to have a large mirror on board a pirate ship it would be Stede 'auxiliary wardrobe' Bonnet.

152. Stede 'auxiliary wardrobe' Bonnet

"STEDE NOEL BONNET WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR ROBE AND WHY IS THERE A CHRISTMAS TREE ON YOUR COCK?!" He hears sideburns yell from the hall.

151. Stede Noel Bonnet

And what had he left in his place? An agreeable mimic, a laughing, climbing, working phantom in the shape of Stede Fucking Bonnet, a man somehow less threatening than his own wanted poster.

150. Stede Fucking Bonnet

Lucius jumped off the desk. "Stede Angelica Bonnet! I have the perfect idea! You know Pete works at WQAR, right? Do you listen to the morning show in your car on your way here in the mornings?"

149. Stede Angelica Bonnet

"Stede Montague Bonnet!" Ed held a hand to his chest like he was scandalized, even though his broad grin totally gave him away.

148. Stede Montague Bonnet

"Quite alright," the vicar said. "Edward Joseph Teach, do you take this man, Stede Bonnet, to be your husband?

147. Edward Joseph Teach

Ed scoffs. "Who looks at an interstate and sees precious gems? Stede fucking Bonnet."

146. Stede fucking Bonnet

"Stede, be careful, he does know his shit," Ed warns him, and Stede replies with the most Stede fucking Bonnet thing he could possibly say, which is "As do I, you've taught me well."

145. Stede fucking Bonnet

One of my favourite middle names in my collection!

Yay! I love that fic!

Can't remember what this one's from.

I remember reading it but I can't remember anything else about it or what it's called. Sorry!

I think it might be Lock and Key. Perhaps @reluctantrose.bsky.social could confirm or deny?

"Stede Timothy James Bonnet, do you take this man, Edward Teach, to be your husband? Do you vow to love him,

144. Stede Timothy James Bonnet