*trying to impress a beautiful salmon woman at the bar* yeah i like to order my cakes medium rare and EXTRA wet in the centerrrrrr😖😖

nobody was there to help jesus move the rock this morning and he suffocated and he's dead he's fucking dead again and baking in the hot spring sun and the smell is tracking in the house

ripping the wrinkles off your brain with my teeth until youre just an eraser head

march of the valkyries blasting out of the helicopter speakers as we fly over the forest and hunt down the easter bunny and his bag of magical treats or whatever his holiday powers are

A billboard by education nonprofit Mayday Health reads "God Made Trans People" is seen on March 26, 2026, off US- 24 highway in Topeka as part of a 4-week ad campaign. Evert Nelson/The Capital-Journal

We want trans Kansans to know that they're supported, especially trans Kansans driving on the roads who might now be carrying identification that doesn't reflect who they are," said Liv Raisner, Mayday Health president. "So, while they're driving to work, to the grocery store and around the state, we want them to see themselves reflected back." The billboards also list the company's website so trans Kansans can look up such health information as how to get gender-affirming care. "We want people to know that gender-affirming care is still accessible through the mail, even in Kansas," Raisner said. "So, we urge people to visit our website where they can learn more information about gender-affirming healthcare resources."

Kansas is one of the most churchgoing states in the country and the legislators who passed this law share that faith," she said. "So, we're not trying to engage them in a political argument. We're meeting them on their own terms and if you believe God doesn't make mistakes, then that're not a selective statement and that includes trans people."

Over the next month, seven billboards stating, "God Made Trans People" will be featured across Kansas, with three of them in Topeka. Paid for by Mayday Health, a reproductive health education nonprofit, with the hopes of reaching 1.2 million people.
www.cjonline.com/story/news/s...

*to the tune of Heartbreaker* CROP CIRCLES! STEVE URKELS!

*drops the bloodied knife* w-what are you doing in here step brother

I wish there was a way I could eat a big jiggly ass, like actually bury my face in there entirely and make em fart by beatboxing in their butthole, but it also wasn't an ass because thats where poop comes frommmmmm

chaser warner bros frog: 🎶hello my baby hello my cummy hello my fag time dolllll🎶

I have already fallen for eight different corporate april fools jokes im going to kill myself violently

can you tell I'm afraid of being sincere because I can make it clearer

idk I just think it's sweet I passed to so many people on trans visibility day like I didn't get a single weird look in the women's bathroom even after I took off my giant swan scarf that actually honks

BIG ASS FAT UNGRATEFUL FAT FUCKING TUB OF LASAGNA WHY DON'T YOU LOVE MEEEEEE

I love when a fat ass cat picks his fat ass lazy ass head off the floor to glare at me for making sure hes still breathing in his fat ass lungs!!!!!!!

trans day of visibility show me the most visible pic of your most visible puffy nipples pushed against cold glass

A pair of slightly smushed glasses frames

Invoice for lenses and frames totalling 448 BRL

Hi gays my dumbass needs to pay for new glasses because I slept on them. They're about 450BRL and unfortunately I had to put it on my card making them like 15% more expensive overall. If you wanna help me see I'd greatly appreciate it

Pypal: iangabrielazevedo@gmail.com

productivity has been up so much that i should be finished with transitioning by Q3 2026 with a detailed outline of how big this ass and titties be now

The bill has been approved. Israeli prisons will turn into guillotines for Palestinians. Hundreds will be executed in the next few weeks. 9300 hostages now in Israeli custody. Dark day for humanity. Unforgettable memory in the Palestinian cause history.

Israel’s holocaust of Palestinians reached a horrific new low today. No different than trains heading to gas chambers. Shame on everyone silent about this.

"we made you soulless killing machines with bodies and minds built for complete extermination. now let us stuff your 84 year old grandma in a hot metal shed with no food or water for 5 days before we ship her corpse to honduras"

following pennywise the dancing clown through the sewers with my phone recording and yelling "THIS GUY IS HERE TO EAT A 10 YEAR OLD BOY"

I came up with this during they will kill you so obviously its movie of the year

Carrier pigeon Quincy delivering mail
⋆｡✉⊹ ࣪ ᡣ𐭩₊⋆ #VGencomm

yeah im on a suckcock diet I see- i mean uhh seecock diet i see cco- i mean im on a seesuck- a cocksee- a seesee- cockdock- FUCK

*just fumbled a girl with one of my weird hyperfixations* yeah im suffering from rheumatism I rue my 'tism!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah it means im getting jelly in my belly

Im gonna be the Georgia O'Queef of hairy men's booty holes

squeezing your balls one individual nut at a time like im testing melons at the store

imagining that one recruiter in high school who looked at my pride flag pin with a visceral face of disgust getting his stomach popped by some tank treads

maybe it's the weed but this malcolm in the middle bit brought me to tears

I come up with good shit off this puppy weed the weed only made for puppy and affiliated puppy kind hmm good to know