Me Googling “Juno Usher most likable character” DAMN WELL KNOWING the risk of a spoiler (I have 2 eps left) and then wishing I would have just waited like a good girl 🫠

“What Lies Beneath”
medium.com/@eireannwrites/what-lies...

*squealing* Hats are the best. I love hats. ☺️💗

Found the perfect window of time at the fair! 15:30 on a Friday afternoon: all the early birds have flown, Brad & Ashley are still picking out threads for their turkey-leg-eating, Ferris-wheel-canoodling date, and the teenagers are allergic to sunlight.

The Big Bosses: Alright, team. The packaging is squishy and weird on this one, but it’s efficient. What do we call it?

Marketing people who get paid more than me, probably: “Meat chub”

Perfetto 😍

I plucked some basil from a pot outside this evening had to release a spider AND a caterpillar from my bunch 😅

I landed on a shark show pre-Hawaii trip (my first) because I’m a glutton for pain.

But listen. MY coastline is legit teeming with great whites who routinely swim
with swimmers and surfers 😬🎉 But they’re chill.

Them Hawaii waters got Makos n Tigers n shit.

It has become apparent to me that I can no longer make Rice Krispie treats because

I WILL FUCKING EAT THEM ALL

I should know better than to try to be productive or work at night. WHY DON’T I ACCEPT THIS ABOUT MYSELF? I just gaslight me every night until my summer brain is forced into hyper-productivity by a hard deadline. In other words, every July.

🥰

It’s “I just wrapped lunchbox ice packs in wet cloths to give my children to keep them cool in bed”
hot in my house.

Hi Roxy! 💗💗😁

Of course Florida would boil the ocean.

I had two children who didn’t know me approach and ask me to watch them do something at the pool today. The mom vibes were strong.

The Pacific Ocean is in my veins. It’s the one I grew up in and where I call home. I’m only now beginning to realize this ocean is cold as fuck, comparatively, even in the summer.

In Bali, the water was 80°F. Beautiful, but I felt like I was swimming in a bathtub. Give me systemic shock.

Ermahgerd 💀

Hot girl Saturday: Singing “parmigiano reggiano” in my Italian voice to my dog while shaping pizza dough and doing a ridiculous dance in the kitchen to make him feel included

I love youuuu

Gone, because I can’t bear Twitter or ever real life really. But I’m here now! Missed youuuu.

Ahhh I’ve seen a few posts about that but I’m still fuzzy. Haven’t seen glowing reviews about it, though.

I love your FACE, ma’am ☺️

…is that ye olde book of faces?

If so, I can say that I never had even the teensiest twinge of regret about deleting my account whenever that was.

iPool. I have an inner tube. Grilled hot dogs. Potato salad. Wine. Chips n queso. So much sunshine. Laughing kids. People all about being chill. Happy.

Who even knows

Can’t, I must conquer this one goddamn level of Woodoku that has ruined my life.

They forgot

Reconnecting with my Twitter mutuals

I’ll take 36.

It’s wild how similar this looks to Twitter. I just double-checked to see which one I opened. All the comfort, none of the musk. Très bien.