It’ll be a heck of a bobsled ride in the morning

If you get mad hearing everyone wonder if they have the tism, it’s probably because you have the tism

A company called Johnson Controls, I don’t want to know what they really do

Looks at Jesus

Looks at 15 single footsteps in the sand

Back at Jesus

Me: So you’re saying I’m fat?

J: I mean, you’ve put on a few..

M: You’re an asshole

I’m excited for some transition in January!

Years ago I had a Waldo Twitter acct. I’d just search for “Where’s Waldo” posts and pop in to say, “ohp, you found me, good job”

The house from A Christmas Story was a fire trap. The movie is a dream Ralph is having, while in a coma, after being the only survivor of a tragic Christmas morning fire. Really makes you think

Jerry, No!

Reposting this gem, for all your freaks out there! Credit @TheRescignos on YouTube Lyrics/music by Mike Hadge, starring Caitlin Thurnauer, Rebecca Weiner, Mary Falkenstern, with Paul Rescigno and Rob... TikTok video by Severedthumb

Tis the season you dirty little minxes www.tiktok.com/t/ZTrn7yJHf/

It’s been a rough month, we lost Luke (on the right) Friday morning

Perfect, we lost her a few weeks ago

Classic

He ranks among the top ten minds in a room with 4 people in it

My Wife: Do you want to try something a little different?

Me:

What your dad looks like in his workout clothes

Come at me bro

Why’s that Frankenstein so sexy though?

Retire, you planned this, you folded to a man with severe dementia who can’t even read. You are worthless, let someone more qualified take your place

Why is there not a list of their entire lives readily available?

It’s impressive how they incorporated their racism and fascist dog whistles while still maintaining an air of narcissism

Nailed it

Why do my guts sound like a velociraptor?

Murders are only worth it if they’re cartoon style, I for one will only drop a piano on someone from 3 stories or more

May I submit: thing you buy for too much money, with software that makes it work available as a premium subscription

His name and title should always be followed by “and self avowed nazi”

This is my favorite glory hole in October

Oh yeah?! Well what if I Gregorian chant about it?!

Johnson: I’m rubber, you’re glue……

Beginning? Be real, we’ve been here for a while