Aw, bestie's doin bullet goofs too 👯

"Also can I have $20 before midnight"

Fucked up, cowardly and totally intentional. It's well above 10x that and anyone who still has curiosity and a heart knows that. Everyone else is Team Genocide

“Brilyn Hollyhand” instead of “chubby bunny” let’s go

a bald stick figure in a chair with his arms out in front like he’s typing on a keyboard, and he’s got the biggest angry frown imaginable and eyebrows that express frustrated bemusement

my daughter really captured my essence in this portrait of me “at work”

Going to do a little thread of Alaa's friends vouching for her and also her posts and story. Collecting some stuff. Please read and share. The donation link is tinyurl.com/3sem5b4p and I'd appreciate anything you could spsre for her and her family.

White House press conference: DO NOT TAKE TYLENOL!!! IT CAUSES AUTISM!!!

Actual letter to physicians: Pssst... there is no link. Acetaminophen is the safest over-the-counter alternative in pregnancy.

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA

10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

Plane flying through 1 of 2 rainbows

Plane flying through 2 of 2 rainbows

Saw a gay 9/11 🤙🏼

Americans think Communism means censorship, government brutality, poverty, and chaos, while also willing to accept censorship, government brutality, poverty, and chaos, if it means they can avoid Communism.

They guys at the dealership convinced me that the cars with cleavage were cool but I saw a bunch of teenagers laughing at me yesterday so now I need to find modest garb for my whip that isn’t culturally appropriative

As measles continues to spread, I'm sending out this little reminder again.

Mr. Rogers looking very disappointed in you

what if when we die it's just:

you are so stronk fr

this is true - i said goose once in first grade and hadda live in the ice house for a year

go ahead sillies! smells just as sweet

please help peanut.

donations of $20 or more will get a free month (or equivalent to the amount of donation!) of my most popular tier on fansly
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An ad for Living Proof dry shampoo says "Let's raise a can to National Dry Shampoo Day!"

national dry shampoo day?! please nuke us already

that rules big time! so glad you all have each other

what a sweet mom 🥹

trump just shut down all weapons shipments to ukraine overnight so for all the people who spent all year feigning confusion about what biden could possibly have done to slow down the massacres in gaza, it would have looked like that

Let me tell you this, bud, a majority of your rights are tied in with disability policy because not only can they weaponize it against anyone, but they know Nondisabled people won’t pay attention.

we're got to stop giving average white men podcasts until they can learn to shut the fuck up

Antivaxxers are trying to erase a six year old girl because she is the only child to die from this vaccine-preventable disease in >22 years. Six-year-olds can’t make medical decisions. She was unvaccinated bc her parents opposed vaccination & would be alive today if her parents were not antivaxxers.

tweet from @nodutdol BREAKING: At least 7 reported injuries in South Korea a private residential home was struck during a U.S. live fire military drill in Pocheon 4 injuries reported as "serious" so far. Korean news report: (linked in replies)

US military get out of korea

*writing "nuh-uh" on a ping pong paddle* time to save america

this is me all the time - last one was blabbing about being in perimenopause to a mom in her 20s 😎