at a new dentist’s and they put a bib on me hope i don’t have to eat too many teeth

LOOK AT IT

My car drove 250x faster than a horse today, stupid horse.

I was just reading a Reddit thread where all the replies were people wisely saying “have you had therapy?” and “Therapy! Now!”

Have we had enough of a discussion about how financially privileged you have to be to fork out £50 an hour or more on an ongoing, weekly basis?

A Brief History of Nobody Wants to Work Anymore

🧵

Steph Smith: Sometimes in the process of writing a good enough prompt for ChatGPT, I end up solving my own problem, without even needing to submit it.

AI folks have now discovered “thinking”

Poor Sleep Linked To Gong Instrument’s Loud, Resonant Crash Can Be Disruptive

Poor Sleep Linked To Gong https://theonion.com/poor-sleep-linked-to-gong/

Once you account for the fact that grammar school intake is self-selected for (a type of) academic success, their results are unimpressive as well. Which means their function is even more obviously akin to a minor public school, allowing people to educate their kids alongside the “right sort”.

We really REALLY should do this. No chance with Peter "Palantir" Kyle as our business secretary though.

It’s World Homeopathy Awareness Week. The less aware of it you are, the more good it will do you.

Armando looking bewildered

Armando swearing at a plastic duck

I’m confident that a bewildered face and swearing at ducks is a solid foundation from which I can grow a successful campaign. I look forward to winning your full support. #Taskmaster

"UNHAND ME SIR I'M LATE FOR WORK"

It’s touring time again!

For all tour dates, visit allsparks.com

One of the best awkward social interactions I've ever observed was at uni, between a guy who told people his dad was a builder (actually a director of a major construction company) and one who told people his dad was a property developer (actually a builder and maybe had a BTL).

The quality of photos from Artemis II of the moon surface is incredible to witness in real time.

I was thinking about this the other day and I feel like the publics response to Covid showed that people are willing to accept hardship if politicians are honest with them about why. If anything, that period showed that general population were less infantile than the political class.

Custom Super Nintendo console with a cartoon character in a suit painted on a blue surface. Two yellow controllers are placed nearby on a reflective black surface.

SUPER NINTENDO CHALMERS

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

ooh decisions decisions

British politicians have just absolutely given up on breaking bad news to the electorate, or publicly acknowledging difficult situations or decisions. So they duck everything hard and get caught in their own impossible promises.

Mainstream parties then get mad voters turn to even madder populists.

This whole "Crime as a Service" trend is really under-covered – it's widespread across Europe. Enemy intelligence agencies don't need secret agents or embedded saboteurs any more, they just need to find some idiot 16 year olds on a Discord who'll firebomb an ambulance station for pocket money

“Fires in the underground are really unlikely if you extract Kings Cross from the statistics, so no need to ban smoking on the Tube.”

“Collapsing slag heaps are really rare if you exclude Aberfan, so absolutely no need to monitor or clear them.”

seeing a lot of "higher gas prices won't affect me because I don't drive very much" and unfortunately it is my sad duty to inform you that your food does not teleport to the grocery store

Headline: Dow rises 300 points after Trump says U.S. in ‘serious' talks to end operation in Iran

Golden retriever runs 15 feet after owner mimes throwing tennis ball

Excerpt from Hilary Mantel’s review of Robocop archive.spectator.co.uk/article/20th...

It's my own fault for using ChatGPT as a search tool, but this really made me laugh. "...with an important nuance..." is sublime 🤌

Huffington Post privacy notice saying they share your data with 987 partners.

I'd hate to see what not caring looks like.

What a terrible day to have an imagination.