22.00 FILM: EVRI-THING, EVRI-WHERE ALL AT ONCE Award-winning multiverse adventure where your parcel is somehow at the depot, in transit, in your safe place, left with a neighbour, delayed, returned to send, in your green bin, all at the same time - but never actually with you.
Based on a true story. About a dozen true stories in our experience...
"Ant man!"
"Dec man! I just knocked the lights out of Kang!"
"Kang? The Conqueror? Divvent muck around with him lad, doesn't he lord owah the quantum realm? Little place fulla weird creatures?"
"Aye, just like Sunderland!"
Cue canned laughter and 20 consecutive NTA awards
20.00 FILM: ANT MAN Marvel's exciting adventure about how Declan Donnelly starts conversations with his TV partner.
Normally we'd be fuming we didn't think of this, but @quantick.bsky.social was very kind to us in the past on the other place, so we'll let him off. And he created the phrase 'Pop Will Eat Itself' which is reason enough on its own.
22.00 FILM: RAMBO NUMBER FIVE The war veteran returns to face late 1990's chart act Lou Bega who is threatening to detonate a little bit of Monica, Erica, Rita, Tina, Sandra and Jessica scattered over a wide area.
300+ new followers this week, thanks so much for joining our mildly amusing/rarely offensive/perfect for children's parties/if wet will be held indoors account. More new CEEFAUXs to come next week, but in the meantime - especially if you're new - a weekend of our best oldies (repeats basically)
21.00 GAVIN & STASI The course of true-love continues to be bumpy as the couple argue over weekend plans. He wants a quiet night in with a takeaway and a takeaway and a DVD, whereas she wants to round up any political dissidents and subject them to intimidation and torture to crush dissent. Warning, this programme contains several distressing scenes of James Corden.
Friday! New CEEFAUX! Exclamation marks!
A slow burner, we loved it
21.00 FILM: SAVING PRIVATE RYANAIR Harrowing war drama about a brave company of soldiers to should be on the beaches of Normandy but have been diverted to Brittany and must now board a five-hour bus to get to the right place, whilst their weapons and supplies are somehow in Tenerife.
Looks like images are back in business, so our new CEEFAUXs continue with the perfect in-flight movie (£15 to activate your screen, £5 to skip adverts, £7.50 for headphones)
Seems that Bluesky is back up but that images aren't. So until things are resolved please just imagine the funniest listing ever, one that hits so hard and has you both convulsed with laughter but also thinking "that's quite wise, these guys really are next level". Thanks, that means a lot.
Apologies everyone. Turns out our content this week has been so funny and entertaining that it broke Bluesky and they had to come round to CEEFAUX Towers to ask us to 'turn down the hilarity a bit' before they rebooted it.
Glorious
Brilliant
22.00 FILM: KILT BILL Scottish revenge thriller.
New CEEFAUXs all this week
Mum says consider that a divorce, sgt Wilson, sir.
Your name will also go on the list ... what is it ?
Don't tell him Cyberdyne Systems Model 101.
Also lovely
If we had hats we’d be taking them off and doffing them.
"They don't like it up 'em, asshole."
"Don't give him your clothes Pike!"
CURRENT WINNER (there's no prize, but still)
Come on people, surely you can come up with an Arnie/Dad's Army mash up as well?
16.00 DAD'S ARNIE Documentary about the actor Patrick Schwarzenegger.
After a crazy Monday where 200+ new people followed us (hello to all of you, please leave your coat in the downstairs toilet) we're continuing our NEW LISTINGS WEEK!
When we posted this morning we had just under 4300 followers and now it looks like this! Wow, thank you! If you're new then let us know if you found us via someone else's repost or just happened upon us, like when an early morning dog walker stumbles across a dead body in a wood.
22.00 FILM: BLADE RUNNER-UP Sci-fi sequel that is not quite as good as the original.
We're back! Thanks for the lovely messages, we're in rude health and ready for ALL NEW CEEFAUXS THIS WEEK!
We're still here, but have been a bit ill over the last few days. Back later this week when we are feeling ourselves again.
16.30 FILM: JURASSIC PARKLIFE I get up, when I want, on the Isla Nublar and munch on a goat for breakfast (JURASSIC PARKlife!). When the electric fences go down I scare some kids in a car, chase Jeff Goldblum in a jeep and then save the say by scaring off them velociraptors (JURASSIC PARKLIFE!)
Last day of our #spielbergweek here on CEEFAUX. We did this one on a unix system
20.00 FILM: WEY A.I. Stephen Spielberg's touching story about advancer robotics, set in Newcastle-upon-Tyne.
Yes, it's still #spielbergweek here on CEEFAUX. We know, we can hardly believe it either.
Blimey, maybe it does actually work.
Come back tomorrow!
