Life can be cruel

Infowars/Onion combo logo in rainbow saying “I support the onion’s hostile media takeover.”

It’s finally happened. After 18 months. Finally, a media merger you can root for.

Sorry to be overly sincere for a second, but here's why we decided to persevere through all of the bullshit and take over InfoWars.

There's just gotta be a line somewhere.

Thank you @pablo.show for letting me talk so openly about this.

one fun thing from yesterday is it capped off a month of "everyone's better than rodri until it's time to be better than rodri"

Crash out? This shit was a warning

I was talking to my friend about how come Arsenal don’t play beautiful football anymore and he said “cause we would finish 8th” 😂

This is the man that Semenyo is saying be getting bullied on a daily basis???

Man Drinking, by Francis Bacon, 1955

The New York Sky Blues are absolutely massive

This is why is stopped having conversations with arsenal fans. Rather than admit they made a mistake and have screwed up they will find the dumbest excuses

Another Man City W
Another Arsenal bottle

What does Bernardo do though?

I’m not gonna hold you I’m about to get all those photos framed and submitted to a museum because that shit is ART, call it “portrait of a remontada”

NEVER IN DOUBT

This Brighton match is oops all slide tackles

I Played 'The Boys Are Back in Town' on a Bar Jukebox Until I Got Kicked Out The boys were back in town, but I was out of the bar, because they asked me to leave.

on the 50th anniversary of the release of The Boys Are Back in Town I'm morally obligated to share my favorite story of all time

Philz is one of those places I loved when I got to California but wouldn’t be caught dead in now

He is the 30 rock version of a Premier League Manager

I strongly feel that 2 Chains and Cardi B together would make one of the funniest records ever made

KHUEHI WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES

Despite their best efforts I am in Manchester and it is an incredible city

ONE LAST TIME

Lmaooo my friend hates Bernardo Silva and we’re on our way to Manchester right now for the match he’s gonna hear nothing but Bernardo Silva chants on Sunday

learning that Israel is one of the main suppliers of the fluoride that gets added to our water supply is like the Super Bowl for conspiracy theorists

The two quotes from this have been from Good Kid Mad City and How you lose the time war and I GET BOTH I AM EVERYWHERE

not many people know this, but Barilla has a line of 3D printed pasta it sells mostly to the fine dining industry. I don't want the pasta. I want the pasta printer

Last month in The Onion:

I legally could not be any closer to this match bro turn this shit off