@united.com what is the point of having one-time passes to your lounge if I can never, ever use them? I'm flying JetBlue, a partner airline that I can book through your website! Let me use the lounge!

CHARLIE BROWN: Yes mistress, you're right, mistress, I'm a blockhead! a hopeless blockhead!

DOMINATRIX: wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah

My Body is a Machine that Turns Prosciutto Into Walking to the Dispensary

I agree. Coincidentally I hope Jamie Ding's streak on Jeopardy ends tonight

Garfield: *eats a lasagna very quickly*
Judi Dench: oh Garfield
Garfield: *snores loudly*
Judi Dench: you wretched creature
Garfield: *hits spider with newspaper*
Judi Dench: murderous reprobate
Garfield: *watches tv*
Judi Dench, intensely whispering: soulless twisted thing

i'm with you to a degree, but Brandon Lowe racks up fairly close to Connor Joe's career WAR every season

i am about to barf from stifling my laughter at work

How you gonna be a "lone trucker" named Convoy

beep boop

im bot

i am SCREAMING

I’m obsessed with the death garfield

thank you all for being here. i wish happier circumstances were bringing us together. get $200 in free fancash when placing your first bet with Fanatics Sportsbook today. my father was a complicated man,

"seat's taken"

i looked at the trap, ray

and when it happens to an imperial Roman guard....

Exit
Oops
FEATURES
Hole
Shaft
Round
Pocket
Boss
Slot
Shave
Cut
Neck
Rib
Tap Slot
Dome
Datum
InternSlot

Call it quiet quitting, I call it Pretirement

Play-by-play: Swedish Chef
Color: Sam Eagle
On-field: Lew Zealand

I have created a maximally discordant viewing experience

Once again loudly musing to anyone in listening range that when people think about Claus Von Stauffenberg, a Nazi, they don't think "hey, wasn't that guy a Nazi?" and actually, they generally think pretty highly of him!

good news

Screenshot of Joker and Batman from the Adam West Batman series surfing. Joker says "Cowabunga, Bat-Drip! As surfers go, it looks like you're all wet! Ahahaha!", to which Batman replies "Shut the fuck up! Fuck you!"

I want to bless everyone involved in not announcing this yesterday

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 9/140

Were we just stashing him in AAA so we could negotiate an extension, and then bring him up quick to qualify for PPI before he signs?

happy birthday to this guy

A print ad for "Prinapen 500™", a handheld inkjet printer from the year 1990. The largest photo in ad is one of a hand holding the printer, and etching the name of the product onto a shapely, moody lit, pair of buttocks.

We went wrong as a society the minute we abandoned the idea of ass printers.

I implore you to gaze no longer into this particular abyss

My favorite part of dune 2 is when the violent militaristic empire with no statecraft decides to make a huge show of martial force resulting in a massive boondoggle that unites their underestimated foe and leads to a crisis related to a resource needed for long range travel ah fuck