will attempt, thank you very much!!

🤭

uhhhh whatever my laptop runs on (I am not particularly tech savvy)

of course

thinking of becoming a barbecue and meat content creator. my schtick is being the one fucking guy who doesn't do a performative slap of the meat before seasoning it like a fucking weirdo

if anyone knows how to play the video game “Links 2003” on a modern OS, let me know. I need it.

me irl

no

did anyone expect McGonigle to be this good this quickly?

Utah was #1 in the country in YPC with zero good running backs and I love me a road grader

you’re so gorgeous

REAL

- more like Denzel Buston

- Dae’Quan Wright is this year’s Oronde Gadsden II

- both Utah tackles are better than Freeling/Proctor

- Malachi Lawrence is Payton Turner 2.0

- Jaishawn Barham UDFA grade, bad player

- Caleb Downs and Dillon Thieneman are both top 10 players in the class (Downs is 1)

one last take before end of take purge day:

i’m tired of performative hype over service academy players in the NFL draft. these guys are not NFL caliber athletes and the game does not translate. the only comparison eli heidenreich has drawn to christian mccaffrey is re: skin color

67 overall, EDGE13

mid 3rd grade

The + in LGBTQ+ means the stat is normalized with a league average of 100

2026 NFL Round 1 Mock Draft! AKA “The Last of Us: Tactics” Often copied, never duplicated, the Football Absurdity original, a “mock draft!” In this, we take turns choosing for all 32 picks of the first round! Walker and Jeff will return on Frid…

A few years ago, @bddrix.bsky.social, @rflredzone.bsky.social and I invented the "mock draft." Nobody had ever heard of such a thing. We are dusting it off this year for THE DEFINITIVE 2026 Round 1 NFL Mock Draft
footballabsurdity.com/2026/04/20/2...

he’s sooooooooooo bad though

Alex Jones meme

Knicks after switching coaches in the offseason

Ty Simpson also qualifies for lowest but I do have a draftable grade on him (barely), unlike Nussmeier.

the player I’m highest on relative to consensus this draft?

Vincent Anthony Jr., EDGE, Duke

the player I’m lowest on relative to consensus?

Garrett Nussmeier, QB, LSU

really love the first round mock draft we just did on the @footballabsurdity.bsky.social podcast 👀👀

it’s because the left did it, making it Worthless. instead of when the center does things, which are Pragmatic.

The backlash on here about the Onion buying Infowars is bizarre to me especially because it has the support of Sandy Hook families.

The Top 300 Players in the 2026 NFL Draft Caleb Downs, Jeremiyah Love, and Sonny Styles headline a deep 2026 NFL Draft class.

TOP 300 BIG BOARD‼️

Built a model to find the most consistent prospects in the 2026 NFL Draft.

It's wildly different from consensus but true to my belief that teams will hunt your weaknesses — and so this board tries to limit them.

Please like, comment — SHARE!

www.bandit.football/2026-nfl-dra...

brutal but fantastic read

Sorry to be overly sincere for a second, but here's why we decided to persevere through all of the bullshit and take over InfoWars.

There's just gotta be a line somewhere.

Thank you @pablo.show for letting me talk so openly about this.

complete guess on that overturn by New York. horseshit. indisputable evidence my ass.

two crushed baseballs off Whitlock, two outs.

Story Hurter

Me when I can’t think of the word “antagonist”