classic mullet formation: Business and Investment Fraud in the Front, Party in the Back

he just wants his army to be siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick🛹

420 blaze it (an expensive warehouse)

anyone else joining the post office's ice division i heard you get to shoot unarmed mail

*smoke alarm chirps*

2016: pivot to video
2026: pivot to AI
2036: pivot to world ended 3 years ago

changing my phone system font to 𝒞𝒰ℛ𝒮ℐ𝒱ℰ as the cops take my kids away

Clavicular Homicide

me when it happens

*walks up to mic at slam poetry jam*

Trump is the anti-Christ?

*snaps from audience*

Trump IS anti-Christ!

*snaps intensify*

yo my cousin told me he actually healing a big ass noid

every time I open photoshop it's like NEW AI SPORES MAKE BACKGROUNDS EASIER NO MORE CHOICES SUMBIT HUMAN

-TRY NOW-
-DISMISS-

R2-D2 cumming so hard he speaks English

hey guys youtube premium went up in price but that's ok because I have 10 weird tricks that doctors hate (all ten tricks are cigarettes)

ladies raise your hand 🙋‍♀️ if you've ever caught your man doing this 🤦‍♀️

well at least we dodged that one today and forever pfew

name something dumber than Right Now

i dare ya

*me at a party*

you guys watching The Pitt?

OH YEAH WELL I'M NOT! I DONT' WATCH MAINSTREAM TV I ONLY WATCH WWE WWF AEW WCW POW MIA 9/11 420 (69)

is getting blackout drunk at a bar and waking up in a waffle house considered "teleporting"

2 days ago? Uh, yeah it was going great

*trump pulls down pants and shits on stage. proceeds to eat it*

NYT: the president takes an alternate stance on food, where it comes from, and what to do with the excessive waste

trumps brain

For sale: metaverse guillotine, never used

Afeela thing or two has changed since they put up this billboard @reckless.bsky.social

NORMIE ALERT: Project Hail Mary fucking rules

I Choked On A Piece Of Steak And Died. What I Saw In Those 3 Minutes Defies Language. “The miracle isn’t only what happens after we die — it’s how we choose to live after we return.”

WE GET IT

YOU CAN AFFORD STEAK

they thought they died and went to hell, so...same thing

gas prices are so high they ate two day old taco bell and watched season one of the office with commercials