If there are laws that say you can’t sue a sitting president, fine.

There should be a law that says the president can’t sue anyone.

It seems obvious, but I guess it’s not.

My annual reminder that Hallelujah is not a Christmas song.

It might as well say Pro Shop.

MS Word jumped 30% to $99.99 a year. Can I dump it for Pages? Is there anything I won’t be able to do?

This laid me out. English majors, ammirite?

Look at me, going to the gym at 9pm like I’m 20.

I know. I know.

The world is burning down and my new script is at page 100 and I can't decide if it's "chainsaw" or "chain saw."

(Not a family film.)

Can we all agree “unsubscribe” has been a failure?

@davidpepperoh.bsky.social Make them fight every race, every election.

This is the 40-minute Alex Garland interview I needed today.

These are unserious people entrusted with serious jobs.

You never hear about Writer Appreciation Day.

Thought I’d give Spirit Airline another shot.

Flight attendant just shut the doors then casually announced that the toilets don’t flush. “So don’t use them.”

In America, police show their faces. Criminals hide theirs.

It means you know what you’re doing is bullshit. It also means you’re a coward.

My Insta Reels these days are just people cleaning stuff with vinegar and baking soda.

1. Recognize that 30 days is a good start, but Reps don't take days off. They don't gear up for Midterms, or off-year elections or "swing states." They work every day, every year, in EVERY state to undermine democracy.
2. Recognize, as Reps do, that the laws that matter are made at the statehouse.

Yes. Never forget this. There are no “off-year” elections. Only elections.

These are not serious people.

Now there's this new thing where you click the "unsubscribe" link on a spam email and it sends you to Google.

Anybody else experiencing this?

Inchoate.

There are no four-letter words left to be invented.

My dream is that one of the Coen Brothers rings my doorbell and tells me why Jerry Lundegaard needed the money.

“The point being is…”

You never see a guy with an “O” and a fence sign.

What about the people who thought it said “Diane Kruger effect” — because I’m in that group.

It doesn't matter if you were high school valedictorian, or went to an Ivy League school...if you still have the gun on you a week later, you're a fucking idiot.

It’s hard to outrun “hand-written manifesto.”

He’s gonna paint the Oval gold, isn’t he?