Monday

Revised name for a Gingerbread Man once a leg is eaten off:

Limp Bizkit.

How do I transfer money from my imagination to my bank account?

Sunday with a day off Monday.

Tuesday

I've just seen Tommy Ten Names meme referring to him as Ewok Powell and it has truly made my morning.

Finally succeeded in setting fire to the picture of Lloyd, Beau and Jeff.
I've really burnt my Bridges this time.

🎵 I'll never forget
The smell of the sweat
From under their armpits.
Magic moments 🎵

😁😁😁

'Let me make myself perfectly clear'

*The Invisible Man

Garrett @smilingnodding may i compare thee to a sunset its every fuckin day with you 4:32 PM 2021-08-31

Good morning Skeethearts ☀️🩷💋

Lost my marbles over absolutely nothing. Slippery little buggers.

'She never let me put it in that hole when she was MY wife'

* Me flirting *

Any tips for getting super glue off a keybbbbbbbbb

*jumps for joy*

*joy just out of reach*

*projectile vomits your name in the snow

Fireplace sounds like a caveman named it

I got a lot done today, it just doesn’t look like it because I didn’t do anything

Them: How are you?

Me: Oh, no thank you.

Partying like it's 1999.
( Drinking Lucozade and bleaching the sinks )

Has anyone seen my pet worm? It looks like this: -----

A greeting card to apologize for acting out due to unresolved trauma

I'll come to your party if there's no one else but me and it's also at my house.

when we design our new planet I’m definitely voting for see through volcanoes

You call that a prolapse?!?

Amateurlapse at best.

I’m starting to think we’re not a family, but a witness protection group that got sloppy.

they should invent a reality that isn't terrible

Remind yourself regularly.

Monday