It’s taking people a decade to get here

Friend: Let's get together! What's your calendar look like?

Me: Same picture of a dog on it till next month

This makes sense for eating but I need a face that says “wow this is amazing” with it in that case to be truly sold

There’s no chill way to tell someone you recognize their last name from the mausoleum

Joe Pesci as a gyno telling the patient they have more than one uterus

Joe Pesci as a gyno telling the patient they have more than one uterus

It is often the cat I had with my ex so I feel this! It has actually become a nice memory now so I hope that gives you some hope and comfort ❤️

“Let’s see if it breaks me heart” - me in an Irish accent, about to open an “iPhone photo memory” notification

Tootsie is a ZANDY movie 🫡🩷

Have been sending this to my boss when I’ve completed my work from home and am clocking out

And fail to put a trigger warning

stolen valour continued

only skateboard I own from when I was 13 & just came back from california with skate stickers. it’s from walmart and I got my first pair of vans to push it down the street with my friend after school everyday.

rest assured, my pr team will be addressing the skater lesbian stolen valour associated with me wearing vans checkered slide-ons at the upcoming press conference

why is it that you can tell just by looking at a man if his tim hortons coffee order is large triple triple

Congratulations!

“Become” lmao

“Excellent point” too late now, love

remember when all of the closeted MAGA ppl posted charlie kirk for like 2 months then went back to lurking and never posting or engaging again

I never share my political beliefs when on Rachel Maddow was going to be my follow up if the friend engaged. Relaying that too.

I made this joke to a friend and they ignored it. This has 5k likes. Letting the friend know, will report back.

“you’re invited! as the groom.”

you could just make a wedding invitation with your crush’s name as the groom/bride and send it out. it is not illegal and after all of the RSVPs they’ll probably just agree to it.

I’m going to need to sign up unfortunately

Would be amazing if before we advance AI, we could advance my phone not putting “ALS” every time I try to send “also”. Conversations are taking a devastating turn.

nuclear bomb cloud hair with extremely sharp fades + very tight shirts took over and not one person has had sex since that day

I ask myself this same question every year

#art #bansky

Friend she’s with just sent a selfie of them with “road trip” as the caption. Kitten share has been one-upped by cute outing share.