If elves were real twinks would go to war with them

I love being like “say hi to Max for me!”

yes… now, fly. fly, my carrier pigeon…

Alt text: A screenshot of a Fox News tweet. The tweet reads: “Stephen Miller on @seanhannity: ‘The Democrat Party is not a political party. It is a domestic extremist organization.’” Below is a paused video of Stephen Miller speaking on Fox News, wearing a suit and tie. The word “KILLERS” in red text appears over his mouth. The tweet timestamp shows 10:10 PM, Aug 25, 2025, with 185.1K views.

Oh look, it's the thing every fascist government says about the opposition party before they dissolve them and turn the country into a one party state.

Spelling bee contestants should get a pass for being close enough. Like we all know what they were going for it’s fine

If you’re eligible to vote today in New York City, I urge you to rank Zohran Mamdani #1 in your ballot and DONT RANK CUOMO.

Hyperbole is literally the best rhetorical device ever invented

This is it people. This is the moment of the camps.

hello, Katy

My IQ is so high that I can’t even count to the number that it is

Must read: Mahmoud Khalil speaks out for the first time since his arrest by the Trump administration in an exclusive letter, dictated over the phone to his family, from ICE detention in Louisiana.

yes

Every faculty who supported police on campus, every one who refused to sign letters of support for their brutalized students: you laid the bricks for politicians to believe they have the authority to crush student voice.

Your racism against Palestine is corroding everyone's freedoms.

🚨 Texas House Rep. Brent Money has introduced the first total ban on gender affirming care for all trans people in Texas. This is an unequivocal ban affecting all trans people by removing amending the existing ban on trans youth to apply to adults as well.

capitol.texas.gov/tlodocs/89R/...

Aging is the ultimate no take backsies situation

the only reason I sleep is to time travel to breakfast

My utopian dream is for every bathroom to be unisex, single stall, and play ambient music

At no other time in the totality of human history has it been more embarrassing to be a Drake fan

Everyone is ugly. Humans are supposed to look some other way.

hahaahaha

Walking is a gateway drug to tripping. It’s a slippery slope.

we need a dating app exclusively for wounded, sensitive souls

have you guys heard about this

Sorry I didn’t see you there, your stealth is pretty high

I have never seen Santa Claus and Garfield in the same room…

doing my own research on this…

Well, well, well. The irony continues. Trump has appointed me to head the Department of Ugly Losers.

saddest story ever told :(