FRUUUIIIITS!! *shakes fist at the sky*

Immediately after I posted that, he picked it back up and threw it at me, so he's really putting *a lot* of faith in the raccoon's healing power.

The highest-stakes egg drop experiment!

Dog does not know why I’m crying, but has brought me several toys in case any of them would help.

Look what we can do.

I've never seen more beautiful parachutes in my whole life.

Appropriately, I got both. ☯️

Gosh I'm looking forward to this.

Baseball!!

That'll do it!

Let's wrap it up, boys. I have hatches to batten down. 🏒

We must weigh the actual threat of the heron against all swans' inherent instinct to - whenever possible - start a ruckus.

This is the correct read.

The biggest signal an American human can ever receive that they are deeply and profoundly fucking up is finding themselves as the bad guy in a Bruce Springsteen song.

"Donkey's Place." Honestly.

What a nice thing to be happy-crying about politics.

Always and Forever.

I also like that he looks like a more-distinguished Paulie Walnuts. Paolo Noci?

They simply do not miss, do they? 😍

ALSO: even though I'm *generally* in a very sad place at the moment [gestures to the everything], PFT fully had me tearing up talking about how special it felt doing live-stream events during the first portion of the pandemic, and ... man, yeah. Those meant a lot to me.

This week's guests on the No Skip Christmas podcast are PFT and Lil Janet Varney: my MOST sincere recommendation on this one.

Well. I certainly wasn't expecting a "gotta shovel a car path out to the street" snow event, but ok.

I'm no stranger to baseball-based disappointment, but this one - which I fully expected - feels worse than usual.

Also, friggin… I have too many projects going already and you beautiful jerks made me want to drop everything and knit some scrap mittens.

At a certain point, still being surprised when these people sock me right in the feelings is entirely on me.

Oof. Incredibly real.

I am also *very* much enjoying this podcast!

This just in: your kids have questions, and Anderson Cooper has answers! Submit your questions with the #ColbertKidQuestions for a chance to be featured in our next installment! #Colbert #AndersonCoop... TikTok video by colbertlateshow

Long live the PRT. www.tiktok.com/t/ZTrjp7Pdj/

a man wearing sunglasses is smoking a cigarette in front of a shoe display ALT: a man wearing sunglasses is smoking a cigarette in front of a shoe display

How extremely dare.

Happy Birthday!