im influencer

night crew, take a look at this one. fun. just a nice fun one.

many are saying!

"she was lying to get tips" this place doesn't accept tips so I guess either I penn and teller fooled her or she was being the most decent person she could and said something polite, what nightmare scenarios!!!

yes I DID mention being trans when complaining about my hairline and yes the hairdresser DID say she was shocked I wasn't, quote, "a natural woman". and that's okay––if you want the delicious 'I couldn't tell' juice you have to accept the risk of a slightly-off batch

"are you collecting scene points?" "scan your pc optimum now" what are you talking about? I shall be partaking of the one true loyalty scheme: the Tesco Clubcard. it basically invented what you're doing, btw, so maybe a little respect? maybe some savings transfer over?

maybe dr abbott can call his fucking cop buddies and get jesse out

okay I’ve input the results of a broad social tone analysis into my thinking android C.L.A.R.K. 3000 and be believes bear diehards are grinding through season ten while pitt stans are puzzling their way through a particularly inscrutable pilot

undeniable I think that last one laughing would be better if eliminated contestants remained in the room, free to laugh and target live players. atmosphere is so vital

anagrams are great because you get extra value out of the letters you were already using anyway

Slightly off-angle close-up selfie of a woman in an all-white bathroom. She is wearing black cat-eye glasses and a grey button-up shirt over a dark blue scoop-necked tank top. She has shoulder-length light brown hair (with a lot of greys, including a distinct streak at the front) parted just to the side of the middle. She’s wearing subtle makeup, and a hint of a smile. The shot is softly-lit, with some vignetting.

april 2nd 2026 / I'm the birthday girl, so I got a haircut for my birthday, because it's my birthday

I am strongly committed to alt text, it reminds me of what the Internet was meant to be.

screenshot of a draft post that's too long to post: I think a ton of people in my generation abandoned environmentalism when that delightful pro-earth cartoon aired its finale, capping its inspirational message with an episode about a group of industrialists and politicians beating captain planet to death and not even bothering to kill those kids he hung out with because, as the oil baron noted, "we can just throw them in the foster system, it's less a safety net and more of a placement scheme that pairs at-risk youth with dangerous situations." I remember thinking at the time that that didn't sound like something a tv character would say, it sounded like something *I* would say. very articulate child. extremely pessimistic about the welfare state, but that's being born into thatcher's britain for you. how long are these things allowed to get

ahhh embarrassing, good catch

the satire <3

was feeling extremely unchill about my body and appearance after a shower this morning and my brain offered up the helpful tip “just don’t care what other people think!” okay yeah thanks I’ll get right on that

for me it was a lot of baalorlord videos on youtube, and a loooot of watching paparatto18 on twitch.

ohhh gotcha. I think I had the hardest time getting to grips with ironclad in sts1, too—I definitely never enjoy actively spending health the way he often needs

oh ironclad doesn’t work right now, I believe he’s very low in global win rates and the developers know he needs to be fixed. there’s little to learn with him currently imo

hey now, every loss is a lesson. I hope

yeah houston everything’s going great up here mechanically, I just. I don’t really want to do this anymore. I would be thrilled if we could cancel. I know that’s awkward because we launched already argh I don’t want to be a pain

“‘Dufferin Mall’ is an available network nearby” hate to harsh the vibe duffy but I’m not even connecting to the guest network in a *nice* mall.

or we just go fully offline or whatever. but I like posting, so

when every western country ties internet access to some form of government id, I think a crucial sliding-doors moment will be whether or not organized crime decides it’s now worth it to start counterfeiting official credentials at scale. if so: we go full cyberpunk, and soon

I don’t know how else anybody would be expected to tell the two e’s apart!

easiest way to develop a style guide is to steal it

SUPERVILLAIN AFFIRMATIONS:

-I prioritize achieving my goals.
-I have a good sense of humor.
-Armies obey me, men fear me, and I am working on reëstablishing a good relationship to women.
-Whenever I meet another villain they smell bad. I smell fine.
-I am fair to my goons.

Professor Science. Wood Witch. The two of you were paired together for this week’s challenge because our judges wanted to see you combine your styles. But an orbital laser platform that shoots targeted potions into the mouths of naughty children? This is a dance competition.

when keir starmer gives a speech now you can actually see the moments when he remembers that snl uk exists. the frightened look in his eyes. what bad timing for the fella, for the show to air during the tenure of the first pm in a generation who would actually be rattled by it

It’s a very heavy heavy heavy cream forward soup very heavy on the very heavy heavy heavy cream