imagine trying to relax with the ceiling light on LIKE A SETIAL KILLER this Post brought to you by Lamp Gang

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Sec. Hegseth: "It's Just Gay" To Require Our Warriors To Wash Hands After Using The Bathroom

A tulip bathed in a path of sunlight between a tree trunk and a shadow of a building

Out the front window this afternoon

UN Squadron

To my great surprise, actually pretty decent.

ME: i’m so sick and tired of being set upon by the baron’s hounds
HER: Maybe stop hopping the fence into his estate?
ME: sympathy not solutions plz
HER: I’m so sorry, that sounds very painful. I know you’re trying really hard to get The Baron’s priceless egg.
ME: it should be *my* egg :(

Exactly one year ago today:

BREAKING: URGENT ADDRESS TO THE NATION FROM PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP

Clavicular is a 20 year old child and famous for no good reason, not due to any particular celebration-worthy talent. He is a victim of a form of mental illness that is exacerbated by attention. However, if I come up with a good joke about him, I will post it.

Too high to troubleshoot the wifi

BTW the people who spent the last few years advocating for Palestine were clearly 100% right that normalizing war crimes and genocide there would just increase the likelihood of inhumane actions elsewhere. Just saying.

"I can not believe America has becom--"

bitch, we have Andrew Jackson on our money. our default money. the only money the bank robot knows how to hand out.

People are telling me about this gyre, and how it’s widening. Many people, and it’s widening like never before, folks. And we’re looking into that. I’ve seen, personally, the rough beast, and to be honest, it’s slouching. And what we’ve heard is it’s going toward something. We don’t know where.

MY FALCONER IS DEAD!! I don’t want to remarry. I only want ROUGH BEAST.

See my widening gyre. CLICK HERE.

She Kübler on my Ross till I Accept It

He's Claytoning pretty hard here

Sorry about your dry/no nut april 😔

April. Sixth.

"So uh about indulgences? Good news and bad news. The Church no longer sells them, but now a lot of Protestants have decided the accumulation of wealth itself is evidence of salvation."

Cubs fans be chill and normal and remember it’s April 6th and there are still 152.5 games left challenge difficulty impossible

Our Enemies are Ontologically Evil while we are Bumbling but Well Intentioned is the bedrock of liberal foreign policy discourse

Hell of a start to my Saturday

Nolan McLean, RIIDICULOUS 84mph Front Door Sweeper. 😳

23 Inches of Horizontal Break.

He threw this on a 3-2 count to complete 5 perfect innings (lost the pg the next inning).

The fucking conflict mediator whose main gig is owning a gun store.

The fact that there’s only one licensed game for each sport is such a bummer

SEAN EVANS: As you tackle the fires of Da Bomb, a two-part question as a Chicagoan and a Pope: one, who wins a best-of-7 between the '05 White Sox and '16 Cubs, and two, as part of the Nostra Aetate dogma of Vatican II--

THE POPE: (coughing) fuck!

SEAN EVANS: careful around your eyes Your Holiness

Everyone is a Tim Robinson character part 238,000 bsky.app/profile/phil...

A screenshot of David Cross and Bob Odenkirk in front of a NASA logo. Cross is speaking into a microphone at a podium. Text says " American can, should must, and will blow up the moon"

Today's the day.

The planet Jupiter with its cloud bands seen in shades of pink, rusty red, blue, and purple. The Great Red Spot is a deep navy blue, surrounded by bands and swirls of pink, and light blue.

Hubble's ultraviolet view of Jupiter shows the planet in hues of pink and blue.

jupiter wishes you a very happy trans day of visibility 🏳️‍⚧️

I dunno I think neoliberalism’s grand plan of dismantling the welfare state and the social contract and replacing them, respectively, with nothing and nothing created a pretty fertile breeding ground for fascism and this isn’t even particularly controversial anymore.