jokes about something other than the economy? in this economy?

love writing poems on the clock @ work :)

every time i look up someone i went to middle school with, they are married

i need a lobotomy

“they should invent a diary that gives you feedback” — person who needs to go to therapy

just made ammmmmazing pasta. i have the mind of a creative genius when i desperately need to go grocery shopping

this is a dictatorship hard launch

bathroom selfie xoxo

if ur reading this ur my valentine xoxox

had a dream that i filled my bathtub to the brim with water and one by one placed every electronic device that i owned inside. they all fizzled out and the bathtub kinda overflowed but i was happy

<<< sitting on ur couch doing a casual laura palmer’s theme listen to give urself a feeling of impending doom this holiday season

my car battery died 💯💯💯💯

i’m doing so good at dating apps

you know what? fuck you
*un-contains your multitudes*

1 like and ill become a spam bot

following anyone for any reason is problematic. why can't you mind your own business and be happy just reading your own tweets

a tiktok ban is a huge win for us, the uggos who prefer text based communication

every time william basinski disintegration loops comes on to my liked songs shuffle i have to face my commitment issues

the new Apple update is awesome. I definitely wanted everything to be slightly worse

im thankful for my 45 followers half of which are ai spam bots 🤩❤️😍

#i #love #thanksgiving

thankful for hate speech online, boeing whistleblowers, and amazon alexa who listens to everything i say

(starting a constructive dialogue) Listen dumbass,

“cisgender” isn’t real. i don’t have to indulge your mental illness.

A rap battle is two men writing poems about each other

DUDES BE LIKE "BLUESKY SUCKS" MY BROTHER IN CHRIST YOU MADE THE POSTS a subway sandwich is in the background

Signal of course

Back when I was a youngster, this was my starter pack

I, too, am suffering from an internal serving error