It's going to be even worse the next time they appoint Peter Mandelson

[foreign office 2025]

CIVIL SERVANT: Prime Minister we have news on Mandelson's vetting, it turns out-

STARMER: no don't tell me, I want it to be a surprise when the scandal comes out in 8 months' time

CIVIL SERVANT: I really insis-

STARMER: god forbid we have any MYSTERY in our lives any more

I genuinely believe I could write 1,000 words on how small plates are fuelling extremism. Austerity-era invention, weaponised by shrinkflation. You spend a day's wage, leave hungry and irritated, and suddenly you’re more receptive to dangerous ideas

I don't know why this is so hard for some people to grasp. If we extend our use of fossil gas, rather than going all-out for grid batteries, heat pumps and induction hobs, we extend our dependence on *foreign* sources of gas, regardless of whether we also use the UK's last remaining reserves. 🧵

me when someone cites the deep magic to me even though I was there when it was written: holy shit, for real? I don't remember that part at all

I think everyone would agree that the police and MPs shouldn’t be shoplifting.

[Scene is a TV news DEBATE FORMAT like Newsnight or Laura K. In the studio, NIGEL FARAGE is a guest on one side, and the GOVERNOR OF THE BANK OF ENGLAND is the other guest.] 1 FARAGE: It's simply outrageous! 2 FARAGE: Replacing Sir Winston Churchill on the £5 note with a badger is woke madness. 3 BANK OF ENGLAND GOVERNOR: Mr Farage, I can assure you that I and my colleagues at the Bank of England have listened to your concerns, 4 GOVERNOR: And we have gone to great length to ensure that the badger is, in fact... 5 GOVERNOR: ...Anti-woke. [The £5 note appears on the screen behind him. It shows a badger, with a black military cap on its head - looking suspiciously like a Nazi SS officer's cap.] 6 [Beat of Nigel Farage reacting silently to the image on screen] 7 FARAGE: The badger is anti-woke. 8 GOVERNOR: Indeed! [Pointing at the design on the screen] If you look down the bottom we've included a quote from him... 9 [Close up of the quote at the bottom of the new £5 note, which reads]: "It's not racist to be concerned about immigration, Carol" - The Anti-Woke Badger 10 FARAGE: The badger... said that? GOVERNOR: It's a comment he posted on Facebook. 11 FARAGE: Well he's quite right! It's not - 12 [Farage pauses again, distracted by the image on the screen] 13 FARAGE: What's with the hat? GOVERNOR: He's into history. [ends]

If the internet was still good, we'd have a flash game where you have traverse the straits by now. Miniclip would have been on it like wet on a flannel.

I don't want to ask the assistant a fucking question – why would I want to ask the fucking assistant a fucking question, I'm very obviously WhatsApping my fucking wife for fucks sake, when will this shit fucking END, get out of my fucking sight, sorry for swearing

Two photos of a cat’s face made to look like a cheesy 80’s yearbook photo. The cat is a tuxedo cat with curly fur and a short snout. In the photo in the top left the cat is wearing pink bunny ears and a blanket stare. In the lower right hand corner the cat is staring into space. White font reads “God is testing me and I have not studied.”

Mood

Thought I was the only one who hated this! Prettier does not (always) mean better...

they say consumerism is a big problem these days, but I don’t buy it

ICO writes to Meta over 'concerning' AI smart glasses report Videos, including of glasses-wearers using the toilet or having sex, are sometimes reviewed by a Kenya-based subcontractor.

Last year when I was checking into a hotel, the desk person was wearing Meta glasses. I kindly asked them to take them off. They were annoyed. I said, “I do not consent to you looking at my credit card and ID with Meta glasses on.” My instincts were correct: www.bbc.com/news/article...

UK puts emergency brake on study visas for four countries’ nationals Shabana Mahmood says UK’s generosity abused as study visas halted for nationals from Afghanistan, Cameroon, Myanmar and Sudan

I have personally seen the applications of many Afghani students to our gender studies programme: people who have started grassroots LGBT orgs; who have fought for women's education; who want to come to the UK to study to make their country & the world better...

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...

Season 9 / Episode 22

"Sorry I'm late, everyone.
Somebody tampered with my brakes."

"Then, you should have been early."

it's unbelievable to me that someone could actually be a trillionaire. i think most of us have trouble internalizing how much money that truly is. let me put it in simple terms for you: a trillion dollars is three million dollars

a round pottery piece with pig eyes and a snout

i think we all need to step back and realize that peak art was made when neolithic pot in the shape of a pig was fired

should be allowed to take the day off if it gets to 10am and you're still feeling too sleepy

Frodo: I wish so much unbelievably stupid shit had not happened in my time Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times. This is all exceptionally stupid, though

Screenshot from BBC News live text coverage of Trump press conference: 19:27 This news conference could go on for a very long time (byline: Gary O'Donoghue, Chief North America correspondent at the White House) This is the president in his most enigmatic and expansive mood. During the campaign this used to be called "the weave" – meandering from subject to subject, often the connections not immediately obvious.

going to use "at my most enigmatic and expansive" to describe the next time I have a few too many wines

"Look, I get it, he's mental but what the fuck do you want me to do?"

- Labour +45%

An image of Sisyphus rolling a boulder up a mountain, but the boulder has the Microsoft “Stay signed in?” screen (that never actually does anything) on it

Semester starts next week

The anti-Farage backlash sentiment is a) real and b) not fully priced into most political analysis, in my view

I think it's a bad sign that every major news media outlet has spent days asking whether or not murder is bad and how much child porn is an okay amount

What is just crazy about this, aside from the need for this statement at all, is that Greenland already IS in the US sphere of influence. It's far cheaper for the US, in material, security, and reputational terms, to have Denmark continue administering Greenland and work within NATO on security.

“Honestly I expected Christmas TV to be better this year. They’ve dropped the ball.” - superimposed on King Charles

Unexpected message this year.

In many respects it has been a pretty bleak year both domestically and globally, but that makes it all the more important to share some of the things that make us laugh. So here is a random selection of humour (not just from this year) of various sorts that I could watch again and again.

Even by my low expectations for Kemi Badenoch ‘violence against women and girls is something done by immigrants and nobody else’ has shocked me.