i'm going on a frenzy and spinning really fast right now

the star spangled banner porn

cursed and reborn into an email

apps are a form of pesticide

mom stop i'm not gonna add you to my tomodachi life island oh my god fuck off

plagued by visions

reborn into an app

white people be like wait let me consult northernlion first

snapping my fingers and saying garçon to the waiter after my account gets suspended

we need a bug president

doing this with #poop

my girlfriend lives on the other side of the abandoned aqueduct you can't see her

microdosing the cave story red flowers so i can jerk off five times as fast

microdosing mercury so i can see through walls

getting shot point blank and being reborn as a gargoyle on the sandy beaches of atlantic city

(at the bathrooms in panda express) take your socks off so i can sniff them

mommy please stop dj'ing with the aphex twin record i need it to focus on my online quest for meaning

at the olive garden tweeting on a very large bulky ipad getting tomato paste on it

running a marathon getting so exhausted my penis pops straight off my body and falls through my shorts like a loose bolt

yearning with my food

yet again cowering from the automatons

hunted down by humanoids

i'm being chased by robotrons

grandma can you turn the game grumps on for me please the remote is too far away

12 angry men: space!

12 angry men on ice

dead as a doorknob. found him hunched over his computer, looks like he was in the middle of typing something. he had a piece of paper next to him with the words "12 gassy men" slashed out. as for that... no clue what that means

my history teacher is letting me tell all of my 12 angry men jokes in front of my class tomorrow

12 angry men themed birthday party where they sentence me guilty at the end and hunt me for sport in my backyard with lawn darts

if i was the kid from 12 angry men i'd just break out of the courthouse