Ope never mind let him rot.

Explain to me why @netflix.com’s “You” makes me both want Joe to live happily ever after but also get got and burn.

I’ll wait.

Yesterday: cold, windy, I remain dead inside.

Today: sunny, warm, windows open—it’s weather-based necromancy in my soul.

Every day I am torn between “fuck this place, I’m moving to Scotland” and “If we all leave, who will fight?”

#fucktrump

If I don’t have ADHD, how do you explain driving two and a half hours solely to see something called “Diamond Beach,” then getting distracted by the annoying tourists and completely forgetting the ocean is even there

Why is putting clean laundry away the worst thing ever. I would rather clean 27 urinals with a toothbrush, no gloves, and undiluted bleach than fold a sweatshirt that smells like flowers and put it neatly in the drawer.

Write every day for 1 hour. If you miss a writing day add 1 hour to the next. It’s incredible! Tomorrow I’m writing for 7 years.

Is the nightly halo around the moon a harbinger of the countless ill omens we have yet to fathom, or do I just have an astigmatism

I’m terrible at positive self talk, so sometimes when I’m feeling bad about myself I imagine what my dog would say about me at a dogs-only cocktail party where everyone is standing around talking about their owners, and honestly it’s just the best little life hack

Nothing will ever be funnier than dogs in booties. The stamps. The melodrama. *chef’s kiss*

Happy Black History Month! Here is my favorite story about a Black American you may not know about: Robert Smalls. He commandeered a confederate ship and sailed himself, his family, and the other enslaved crew and their families to freedom. THROUGH waters controlled by the Confederacy.

If you ever wondered what spending your days with 15-year-old girls is like, it’s this. Nonstop. Forever. Until your eardrums bleed you out.

I’m choosing to believe that spending a week designing a trivia night for my coworkers that no one asked for does, in fact, make me ✨hella cool ✨

Too cold to walk the dog, so I gave her tons of treats, puzzles, games, and a peanut butter Kong. Now I’m afraid she thinks she’s a Make-A-Wish pup on her last day.

#mainewinters #dogowner

The feminine urge to wear your different personalities as outfits. Who is she today? lil cutie pop girly with bows? Adorable. Get her a puppy. Vampiric bitch queen of the highest order? Terrifying. She might also like a puppy.

i give up. i just wanna live in that lofi stream with the cat.

If parasocial relationships are imaginary, I don’t wanna be real… or however the saying goes.

@criticalrole.bsky.social

him, a Neanderthal: *watches countless hours of porn*

me, a scholar, reading my book: Then he tells her, “Hands on the headboard.”

#booksky

Between the vaping and the iced coffee and the bed rotting, I’ve pretty much sealed my fate. I will vibrate into the couch cushions, atomized.

a woman wearing glasses and a pink shirt says " what like it 's hard " ALT: a woman wearing glasses and a pink shirt says " what like it 's hard "

Literally all it takes to be a witch is to be weirdly enamored with rocks and to daydream about the various ways you want your mortal enemies to be fucked over. Burn some incense now and then. Dance naked in the moonlight offering your soul to myriad fell demons.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Living at a boarding school is putting a sign on your door saying you’re not on duty and to go away unless it’s an emergency—

then a kid knocking on your door saying, “I need a bowl for… *checks sign* emergency ramen.”

Me, a woman of science: These vitamins will help keep my body strong and healthy.

Also me: 🌕 iT’s a FuLL mOon 🔮 charge your crystals, drink your moon water, and MANIFEST YOUR BEST LIFE GIRLY POPS!

If I ever make it big, let the record show that my first post was totally PC.