we all know I have no life, so:

when I grow up I want to be the guy who says to the archeologist "it's okay, there's nothing to fear here!" before stepping on a pressure plate, getting hit by a toxic arrow, and dying before the opening credits are done

i think about this origin story of the 1931 creature design a lot. why would you put your psychic daughter's visions on-screen if her powers terrified you. did he think this was a "the ring" situation or what

Flyer taped to a lightpole that reads: We Need POSITIVE Media Representations to Prepare for ASCENSION Not Star Wars (The Mother Earth is ascending on behalf of ALL LIFE.) Sexist and militaristic portravals such de the wrongly-bortraved older Arduria DAUGHTER of Admiral Ackbar depicted above-left juxtaposed with the similarly older and FEMALE Earth primatologist Jane Goodall above-right] in science-fiction and fantasy media DO NOT help the ascension efforts of people supportive of the Mother Planet Earth as she/it returns to the fifth-dimensional branespace-based aspect of the cosmic environment where NO prejudice or bias exists but rather GENUINE unity consciousness-based experience (i.e. equality-based) pertains for all sentient beings and the interconnected Web SOON. Expand your conscioue branespace-based awareness NOW! of Life (as more than just a concept.) p-d-5-branespace conduit CLOSING Sirius Is Here / White Lions Assist Expect Galactic Ascension soon. Earth is leaving 3D/4D reality Be your real/total CONSCIOUS SELF.

Whoever keeps posting these flyers outside my work is contributing more to the discourse than any of you

This would be a bad time for a 1,000 foot tall alien named The Adjudicator to appear floating in the sky and proclaim he has come to judge humanity. I hope any cosmic entities wait a few years before deciding Earth’s fate

A 1940s MAN WHO HAS JUST BEEN TOLD SOMETHING UTTERLY SOUL-CRUSHING:

“Saaaaaay!”

Man applies clown makeup base: It's just one night Man applies clown makeup highlights: And the will says I'll get my inheritance if I do it Man applies clown wig: So what if my distant uncle became an eccentric and recluse, obsessed with the secrets of death? Man in clown makeup: Haunted houses aren't real

Seymour Skinner in his office

I spent the next three years in a POW camp forced to subsist on a thin stew of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the states but they just can’t get the spices right.

Flashing my green light in complicated strobe patterns, to hypnotize Gatsby into doing my bidding.

My retirement plan is letting my hair grow long and turn white and wearing a cloak and going around giving strange talismans to young children and telling them to keep them safe until the right time -- they'll know

imagining an all night diner in a redwall world. little rat smoking while cooking on a flaptop. burned coffee in an acorn mug. the whole thing is inside a pumpkin

Hanging out in the cover art of an algebra textbook from 1992. There's a floating cone nearby and the ground and sky are both grids but different kinds of grids. Might party with the Vitruvian Man over there later

LT. RASCZAK: Come on, you apes!! You wanna live forever?!
DR. PRIMATUS, THE HYPER-INTELLIGENT GORILLA TRYING TO FIND THE CURE FOR DEATH: Jean we’ve been over this

vintage comic panel of two figures considering a mechanical model of the solar system, one asks "what planet is this, your excellency?" and the other responds "That is earth, it is inhabited by a race of idiots!"

read for filth by an alien from the 30s, smh

If I heard the call of Cthulhu I would simply not answer it. Not my business.

None of this would be happening if I had an enormous cursed sword

ME: *writing in my journal with the sole aim of pissing off future historians and archaeologists* I returned to my home - which is built in the usual style - by the normal way, and prepared and ate dinner in the way I often but not always do

i'm the guy who invented the spike traps that pop out of temple walls. i hate my job. every day my boss says "why haven't we killed any archeologists" and i say "they haven't invented that yet." they pay me in tomb juice. i hate tomb juice. honestly i might just start working on my big boulder idea

[priestess in ancient Greece] Folks, the omens keep piling up, I don’t know what to tell you

Story title, “THE DOOM ON FOREVER!”

The three types of ‘50s pop songs were come on everybody let’s do the snap pea, if you ever kissed me I would turn into some goo, and hey hey beautiful child I would never take you over state lines

ha! sadly true, i think

but if someone wanted to give it a try i would definitely be all in favor

I need you all to see the hype video that this person made to sell their 1994 Geo Metro

More dense housing developments would significantly lower costs by increasing the volume of housing supply, and would almost by definition allow for more people

I've got a good feeling about this bank of mysterious fog moving against the wind to blanket our isolated small town.

think it's cuz your winning plan is to try to promote with the pawn on d8

trading the rooks on e8 lets black get his knight to e6, and then it's covering d8 and you can't really ever promote that pawn

Two guys looking at a 3d map of the planets. One points out that Earth is inhabited by idiots