“REGULATORS MOUNT UP”

Me, deflated as I was about to hype up: oh, uhm I guess I will sit this one out cuz emotional regulation I don’t know her -_-

I started opening Wikipedia instead when I get the itch.

It’s been 20 years almost since Calvin Harris said he would things for me if I was born in the 80’s.

What kind of things? Like eat my undercarriage or take out my trash?

I got laundry I don’t wanna fold, Big Cal.

I won’t apologize for being this way.

Netflix: are you still watching?

Us:

129 pages of satire with cats. Catire, if you will.

Oh shit what. That sounds so wholesome

meanwhile I’m like GUESS WHAT IN SHUNTLINE HE STICKS A GUN IN A DUDES BUTT AND PULLS THE TRIGGER

images to send your homies and say “us” type shit

It’s only *checks notes* 8 days into 2025 and this is already the vibe. Surely it’s been three weeks?

My last two brain cells employing teamwork to get the task done (it is a critical fail every time)

BEEN WAITING FOR THE HOMIES TO ARRIVE.

a green cartoon character wearing a suit and tie ALT: a green cartoon character wearing a suit and tie

SUP

“Goddamn these mommy milkers of mine are huge,” he said to no one in particular.

It’s only straight sex if you treat and see the other person as a fleshlight.

Mmmmmay I??? 👉👈

What we deserved instead of Wicked. Or at least what ✨I✨ deserved.

Let the derangement begin in a new and distant.