Today is international Trans Day of Visibility. Sadly, for me, I must still remain (mostly) hidden.

Is it wrong that I kinda want a soft dom GF to hold and cuddle me, letting me know that I'm a good girl?

Just brekaing down crying cause I'm scared and worried. NBD.

Trans people are now being labeled as NVE by the FBI. So where my fellow extremists at?

I need to tell them. I have to tell them.

*Checks politcal climate.*

Nevermind....

When you're genderfluid and suddenly you're other side pops up out of nowhere. Like, gee thanks. More of a warning next time, please? 🙄

I am scared. I am scared. I am worried. And I don't know what to do.

I really love her look with the jacket! :D

I've left a few hints. A few obviousness. I stream. I have "Genderfluid" and "BiGender" as tags. But even then...I fear them finding out and then...casting me out.

I have nowhere to go. Nowhere to turn. 40 years old. A number I hate seeing. And no recourse if I am cast aside.

I'm still having to stay quiet. Thanks in part to the actions of the current political climate. And the person 2/3's of my family voted for.

I'm afraid. Afraid of saying anything. At all. In the fear of losing the one thing more important to me than myself: my family.

Just watched John Oliver's video on Trans Athletes.

25-30 years ago, I questioned myself. I had feelings and thoughts that I had no answer. I kept quiet.

15-20 years ago I accepted I couldn't be/have what I wanted. I kept quiet.

5 years ago I finally started getting answers.

Yeah add my family to the mix, the fact I also work alongside my family...trying to explain being bigender is gonna be hard when they have said some pretty similar things...

All it takes is for me to have a conversation.

The other day, April fools day of them all, had a fellow employee tell me he'd fight for me (someone who is disabled) but he wouldn't fight for "trannies".

More of a reason for me to stay in my closet.

Not me having an internal freakout because my Dad decided to follow my stream.

On my VTuber night.

With my female Vtuber based off of me showing.

Nope. Not at all.

When you find out more about yourself and realize you kinda fit into both Bigender and Genderfluid. And that one basically overlaps into the other.

Who knew? :D

oooh makes me wish I had an idea :(

"if you don't fit in, then it's your own fault."

Thanks for the vote of confidence random Republican from Utah.

Since I don't "exist" do I still have to pay taxes?

I love that I no longer officially exist according to the cheese corn puff.

It's become increasingly hard to be who I am even more so since he was voted back in.

Doing everything in me right now to not cry.

Well guess it isn't rumors.

I can't help but feel apprehensive right now. Rumors of 47 making laws about gender scare me. I'm finally starting to figure myself out and I still can't be myself 100%.

And those rumors are making it worse and worse.

New Year, newish me

a woman in a red sweater says me ALT: a woman in a red sweater says me

You're genderfluid and your streamer friend starts to imitate Arthur from RDR2 and saying "Good girl" over and over.

Me:

Also. Hi. I'm Ember. XD

Changed my name in a friend's Discord server. Keep forgetting I did that. Now, everytime I'm mentioned I keep asking who's this Ember....and then remember it's me.

Which, if you met my bard, who is Ember, you'd understand that's the most Ember response possible.

Sometimes I just want to be told I'm a good girl. is that too much to ask?

Yeah today's a me day. Iylyk