zendaya looking fine as hell tonight

god please stop sending me fixer-uppers

the reasons for flushing early are different for public and private restrooms

I actually assumed that’s what you meant lol

to live is to find street parking

Known for Algol 60, CSP, Hoare logic, Quicksort, and more--any single one of Tony Hoare's accomplishments is remarkable on its own. RIP to a legend.

white girls only think i look feminine cause they have to pay for lip filler not to look like patrick star

seattle has great coffee shops because none of the baristas are straight

I had a dream that I got my instagram back 😭

But can dialectics consider statistical significance?

who tows the tow truck??

I assumed it can be defined at the library-level, given its effect handlers and threads. re: thread safety, I was thinking of the Oxidizing OCaml work that Jane Street’s done.

im here for the ocaml reboot

Where am I supposed to find a pear tree at this hour?

“My lord, I brought you their precious heirlooms.”

*peers away from the rank odor*
“Where are the jewels?”

“They are a family of farmers. These tomatoes have been passed down for generations.”

One’s character is not so easily compartmentalized. An impulsive cheater who stumbles into drama in their relationships is bound to the same dynamic in academic and professional settings.

rolling up to the thanksgiving potluck and door-dashing a casserole

i had tremendous respect for your institution before they accepted me

in honor dick cheney’s demise, i’ll repost my greatest work: dick cheeseney

it is henceforth illegal to rhyme “books” with “bell hooks”

😭

apparently the caesarian has nothing to do with a caesar salad

tfw you got the “arigato gozaimasu” loaded up but your friend wants to order dessert

if you want to shamelessly repeat something, just do a key change

But then I discovered you were really nice, just sassy haha

1 online, but probably 3 irl cause of my rbf

at first you were a 6

If Kentucky is a state in the bible belt, Idaho is in the choker of the Pacific Northwest.

“Dont bite the hand that feeds you.”

“What if I lick it instead?”