I have to get home to my cat and explain the snow her again

Watching Muppet Treasure Island and Kermit is just dunking on anyone else that has ever yearned

Ok it’s just the bourbon now

I’m about to let the bourbon and robot model kit talk

And before you ask, yes, they are lowering his casket to the song.

I joined a band for the first time in like 10 years and it was like ripping a cig outside of a wedding reception but with more guitar

I can live with this

Getting really into gunpla when life is getting hard for me would be cool if these things were free

All

If we see the other side of all this, I have no interest in celebrating until every single one of these slugs is tied to a post somewhere.

I love strangest Things. I love when Johnny and Blippo say “EUREKA!” and make a diagram

Today is the superbowl for old people pretending they don’t know where the line starts

He’s gonna do a flip and correct the timeline

I have Thanksgiving with my best friend’s family, but my dad went to prison this year so now I want to get my family back together so we can dunk on him

Applying for jobs as a former teacher on LinkedIn is like “hey you have great skills for lots of jobs!! Have you tried teaching?”

Last minute Greg costume because I was too anxious and depressed all month to make it sooner lmao. Should be ready by 11 for the bars

October is a big trauma anniversary for me now. The panic attacks and the hangover from them ruin Halloween. I used to truly love this time of year and now it just makes me miserable and weird

Giving you a brief break from doomscrolling to show you Milkshake passed out after bravely surviving a smoke detector malfunction

Lex Lugor could probably paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel well enough, but ain’t no way Michelangelo is making the beat to “Hard in da Paint”

Scaffolding carried. Buon fresco merchant

My Queen

I think you should simply lead a better life if you’re worried about people celebrating your death

I can climb this

Immediately had to put her in jail for attacking me when I tried to get work done

The Eagles have released the Sam Raimi goblin serum

I miss Meatball from the Philadelphia Zoo

we have to kill the computer