I'm fuckin injured and now my wife is torturing me with cursed pre-transition photos. This is literally the plot of Misery

👀

Finally recovered a barely smoked pre-roll I had lost weeks ago in my apartment. Fortuna finally approves of the amount of house cleaning I've been doing, I suppose.

Good fuckin luck

I have set the monster loose.

I'm okay with gender reveals as long as they follow the proper format: announced through the "O" of The Muppet Show sign.

A meme of a night picture of an opossum with the wide-mouth pose and over the possum reads “Do no harm, Take no shit, Beg man no pardon”

possum of wisdom speaks

It's hard to get up in the morning and this is 80% of the reason why

Just another day putting cum into vials for the general public to enjoy

FRANCE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS

Got the headache fucked outta me and now I've got insomnia 😮‍💨

Sorry, honey, we had to put the dog down because it refuses to use Dark Mode

everyone's talking about putting people in mechanisms and i just hope She puts me in the pear wiggler.

yeah, yeah, sure

@butchinheat.bsky.social Maven is listening to murder ballads in the shower 🚿🎶

My new talking vulva schtick wasn't a hit. Maybe it was the smoker's voice I gave it. 🤔

They used to detect diabetes by tasting urine. If it's sweet, your pancreas isn't working right!

Don't forget the blood sugar monitoring!

Casual @mechanizedmalice.bsky.social chores. If your dong cloches aren't squeaky clean, how can you properly display your marvelous toys?

Text on Urinomancy 15th Century Poster Print by Science Source (24 x 36) Text on Urinomancy, 15th Century is a licensed reproduction that was printed on Premium Heavy Stock Paper which captures all of the vivid colors and details of the original. The overall paper size is ...

Better put this on it

いいよ! 👍🏻

I am definitely a Dollie, but something more akin to this most of the time

The dog has a point, unfortunately.

I'm tempted to just be Charlabelle lol. But I'll decide between that and my usual stage name for things like this. :3

(threatening)

Timing my face mask by watching the Log Lady intros.

If you're good :)

what i would give to be a fly on the wall listening to zohran tell his aloof wife alllllllll about his day

I would like to mention that I was cruelly denied in-person viewing of them as well until I got my e-mail verified.

Remembered that you have to enable adult content after angrily smashing at a post trying to view my own wife's tits.