Next time Allstate calls I’m gonna ask to speak to Master Daki

Post from Brian Wise, text reads: “Apparently there's a bunch of bots spewing nonsensical shit on Bluesky, created by a series of idiots who think it's hilarious to spew garbage posts out on the Internet I plan on making block lists so you don't have to deal with the idiocy or the word vomit, since we already have Trump”

I hate how quickly my teeth grow

A bat. Big ears, beautiful wings… the whole nine yards

It is International Bat Appreciation Day. Please take some time to appreciate a bat

I’ll let you know in 2033

It’s called ‘vibe coding’ because it ruins the vibes for users

If daily showers are performative I’m a superstar

Yellow bile, please

The sun’s gonna rise at 11 PM tonight

I see trees of green
Red roses too
I see them bloom
For me and you
And I think to myself

Celebrate your half-birthday with half the enthusiasm of your actual one

Filler = any TV show episode that’s not constant payoff and fanservice

It feels like every instance of the word “error” in website and app error messages has been replaced with “whoops”.

Do not presume yourself my peer, computer. Address me as sir.

This! 👆👏👏👏

Awesome!

Personally I’d like to see the Vyatichi make a comeback

Flop = financially successful, critically acclaimed, and highly popular video game that I didn’t like

White boys love to add an ‘n’ to the word “turret”

😳

@cockremover.bsky.social

we are... 300 DAYS LEFT!!!!🤩
'ICE AGE: BOILING POINT' hits theaters February 5th, 2027!!!

Many men believe they could “counter-mug” a mugger

FACT: The ancestor of all Dutch people was a human-alien hybrid assembled in the hypervats of Nova Gorlax IX

Welcome back!

HOUSTON MENTIONED meme

every 30 seconds on comms

The bad thing about being hard-of-hearing is that you can’t hear very well. Other than that it’s fine.

Happy 6th anniversary of the launch of Quibi

Wait…if I married a vet I could get ALL my health issues seen quickly!

I need to marry an ENT so I have someone on paw to fix all my ear problems

Me, for the 4th time that year: “Hey, honey, can you clean out my earwax with the machine again?”

Her, alt-tabbing from divorce paperwork: “Okay.”