In the '70s, I fearlessly climbed pylons, yet asking a girl to dance? Sweaty disaster! Now, I only sweat when my wife calls me “darling.” Tune in to my radio debut!

Unwinding one of Life’s conundrums.

Retirement: where the biggest pressure is ensuring your imaginary butler serves wine at the right temperature—oh wait, no butler. Just a busy, chaotic life!

Ironic, isn't it? Here I am on social media, slating Social Media! :)

Finally spotted my ghostwritten gift book, 'How to Survive Retirement,' in a shop! Now my published books are famous, at least in Johnstone, next stop, my self-published efforts and limerick fame!

Where in the world … ?

Some questions should come with a warning label! As for travel, there’s nowhere I wouldn’t visit—except maybe after a spicy curry. Handle with care!

Sorry! My hands make me type this nonsense. ;)

Forget Maths & Physics - plenty more valuable lessons were learned in my days at school.

Skank yourself fit!

In the '60s and '70s, I trained like a maniac, fueled by questionable diets and hard sprints—one guy even smoked! Post-cardiac-arrest, I now skank around my office to loud music, beer optional!

In a caped conundrum, Batman’s stylish attire gets a trim thanks to Dick Grayson’s prank! Gotham’s rogues celebrate their newfound freedom since they can finally outrun the dynamic duo, proving that crime really does pay—especially with less fabric around!

Heavy Petting. Crocodiles and elephants don’t make great pets, but trained cats might just redefine your tea-brewing expectations!

Heavy Petting.

Crocodiles and elephants don’t make great pets, but trained cats might just redefine your tea-brewing expectations!

Why work for free? Only if it involves pets or spontaneous joy; otherwise, I'm charging for my invaluable time!

I love sports, but growing up in Glasgow meant struggling for Olympic relevance—where’s the medal for hopscotch, I ask?

In my village, let's boat the whiny M.O.B. downstream! They’ll find new grievances, and we’ll enjoy the peace—bonus!

Runs for the hills! Daft wee limerick incoming!

I am, the one and only …

Today's Wordpress prompt is dumb, but after a deep dive, I'm uniquely me - unless of course you too can tick ALL these boxes. ;)

In India, Colin’s name graces window spray and bedroom gels, causing chuckles and awkward stares—but no purchases. What a legacy!

Laugh your socks off!

Humor is a slippery slope, folks! From slapstick to subtle wit, everyone's got their giggle triggers. One person's punchline can be another's offense, so laugh wisely and embrace the absurd!

At five, I aspired to be a lollipop man, dreaming low; turns out, the Village Idiot path was my true calling!

Most people don't understand much, except maybe that pickleball is not a dish and Mukesh Ambani's shoes are really, really big!

After eighteen years of dog walking, I embraced technology—mainly for pizza delivery. Yet, it’s made me lazy, rushed, and still hungry for knowledge—or maybe just pizza.

Hey! Don't mock - I bet it's happened to you! ;)

I possess an incredible secret skill, far superior to superheroes!

Everywhere you go, always take the weather with you …

Two years ago, Wordpress prompted this nostalgia trip. A retired dog-walker reflects on Glasgow's dreary climate versus London’s sunny bliss, all while savoring the joys of muddy paws and nature's complexities.

Teachers, coaches, and even bank managers can school us in unexpected ways. From Miss Hunter, who sparked my love for English, to a bullying boss who taught me what not to do—life’s lessons come from everywhere!

Whoever invented the 24-hour day clearly didn’t foresee our busy, gadget-filled lives. If only they’d given us 48 hours, maybe I’d be an Olympic athlete instead of just an over-caffeinated writer!

Tattoo You. Johnny Cash's 1969 San Quentin gig revealed a tattoo-free prison, unlike today's inked inmates. Back then, only cool kids sported temporary tattoos from bubblegum packs—good times before parental panic set in!

Johnny Cash's 1969 San Quentin gig revealed a tattoo-free prison, unlike today's inked inmates. Back then, only cool kids sported temporary tattoos from bubblegum packs—good times before parental panic set in!

'To thine own self be true..
That Shakespeare dude got one thing right, at least. ;)

A saucy post for you, today. ;)

If limericks normally leave you cold - then this one is definitely for you! :-D

In Glasgow, confidence is like a shy ghost—loud yet reluctant to show up. We hedge our bets, underplay skills, and maybe laugh it off, but trust me, we’re a confident bunch!