Wait. Did my parents adopt a puppy or an Ewok?

Global Climate Change is a myth currently being experienced by the people of Minnesota.

I’m a secular humanist, but I will pray to every god that never existed for today to be THE DAY......

A serious proposition: Let’s all dress up like Planet of the Apes the day the Artemis II crew returns to Earth and see how they react.

Brief reminder: people are literally dying just because #Trump wanted us to stop talking about the Epstein files.

Wow, #Trump is really racking up those participation trophies, isn’t he?

It would seem that relentlessly antagonizing our allies for months on end has done little to motivate them to come rushing to #Trump’s aid now that Operation #EpsteinShield has blown up in his face.

So basically #Trump is saying Iran managed to steal a Tomahawk missile without anyone noticing, was able to launch it without the necessary equipment, and instead of firing it at US forces targeted a school, miraculously timed to impact at the exact same moment we were bombing the IRGC next door?

Joke: What kind of person doesn’t remove their hat during a dignified transfer ceremony?

Answer: Our current president.

I didn’t say it was a funny joke.

In the 10 days since he started this war, the price of Brent crude oil has risen 43% from $73/barrel to $107/barrel. Remember this next time you fill up or get your oil changed.

D’aww! Who looks like she rolled in paint?

Just found a note from one of my students when I was a CI. Those are still my top 3 priorities for working with patients.

I’m not above pointing out that the cost of current solar and wind energy generation will remain largely unaffected by military operations in the middle east.

Welcome to the underside of the bus, Mrs. #Noem

Recently, I have come to appreciate that there are few experiences in life more pleasant than the sound of a paper shredder eviscerating the reams of documents I’ve been lugging around all these years for no adequately explicable reason.

He has brought you pestilence.
He has brought you famine.
He has brought you poverty.
And now, he brings you war.

I think it might just possibly be a good idea to ban pop-up ads from video/audio loops if they’re specifically intended to help people sleep. That would be a bright idea, in my imagination of things. Agreement? Disagreement?

Apparently his idea of a #WhiteHouse dinner to honor Olympic gold medalists is McDonald’s. Nothing against MacDonald’s, but Olympians deserve more than fast food. Tacky.

We’ve been burgled!
Or everything’s turned invisible…

To whomever designed the modern keyboard: Why must I hit shift to type a colon? Did you seriously believe we would need to use the semicolon more often than the colon? Most people don’t even know when to use a semicolon! Listen, I know it’s just a first-world problem but I really….

Now he wants to close down the Kennedy Center, not because ticket sales have nosedived and everyone’s cancelling their shows ever since he slapped his name on the building, but because it’s “dilapidated, tired, and broken” and in need of “Construction, Revitalization, and Complete Rebuilding”. #ETTD

His claim: Tickets for #Melania are “Selling out, FAST!”
The reality: Many theaters have sold between 0 and 2 tickets, and some can’t even give them away for free.

Quick precis: The right doesn’t debate the left. It invents the left.

m.facebook.com/story.php?st...

At the DMV to renew my license and feeling mildly amused that my number ends in 42.

TACO

BREAKING: Trump says "framework of a future deal" regarding Greenland reached; will not impose addtional tariffs on European nations

“Renee was a Christian who knew that all religions teach the same essential truth: we are here to love each other, care for each other, and keep each other safe and whole.”
- Rebecca Good, widow

If you’re uncomfortable with trans women in ladies’ bathrooms but amenable to having an alleged child molester as president…

#RobReiner gave myself and others the gifts of joy, insight, and moral fortitude with his creative works. He taught us to appreciate the meanings of true love, honorable service, ethical government, coping with mortality, and accepting life as it is.

The next time you hear #Trump insult a female reporter and it makes you angry, remember: he’s just a grumpy old man who’s too dull and lazy to think up a sufferable lie.