Professional naming expert Marco Glennwald III is losing his mind over the president's insistence on naming every goddamn thing after himself

Jerzmo sitting out in the sun.

Day 9 of 9. And yet no tanner than I started.

Screenshot of Joker and Batman from the Adam West Batman series surfing. Joker says "Cowabunga, Bat-Drip! As surfers go, it looks like you're all wet! Ahahaha!", to which Batman replies "Shut the fuck up! Fuck you!"

Jerzmo's legs extended across a poolside lounge chair with a pool and the palm desert mountainscape in the background.

Glorious 🌴

Jerzmo taking a selfie standing against a rail with David Byrne and company on a stage about 50 feet away.

I saw David Byrne!! *claps and hops up and down excitedly*

Jerzmo taking a selfie in a large crowd. The BF and a friend are smiling at the camera as a second friend scans the horizon behind his sunglasses. A recognizable coral-like, flag-covered structure is visible in the background, signaling that this is the DoLab stage.

Day Two Crew

There was a straight couple dancing ahead of me at Slayyyter. The guy reached in his pocket and pulled out a bottle of poppers. His girl took a hit, and he put it away. — My culture is not your costume.

Jerzmo taking a selfie on a grass field with a small crew in tow.

So begins my 10th Coachella. Let's goooooo!

Jerzmo and the BF taking a selfie in a car. Mounted bikes are visible through the rear window. There is luggage and the corner of a "Ticket to Ride" board game box visible in the trunk.

Coachella, we're coming for you!

Jerzmo smirking in a selfie as he walks down a greenery-lined pathway. Backpack straps are visible on his shoulders.

The morning commute. ☺️

Jerzmo taking a selfie on a beach path next to a hottie with a running bib attached to his shorts.

Jerzmo taking a selfie on a Long Beach beachside trail, doing his best impression of a person who is awake at 7:30am.

Real love is waking up at 6:00 in the morning to take your partner to his half marathon. ❤️

Jerzmo taking a selfie on a poolside lounge chair. A friend and his dog are in the water in frame.

Base tan activate!

(Feat. Mikey & Stella)

Jerzmo post-gym in a bathroom mirror.

Only 6 gym days left until Coachella, the official start of the shirt off season. Summer body activate!

I feel this in my bones.

Jerzmo and friends in front of the Disneyland castle, lit up at night.

Update #6. Probably the last of the night. Thanks for going on this journey with me. TTFN.

Jerzmo and friends in two rows of a boat in what seems to be simultaneously the bayou and the inside of a building.

Update #5. Keen observers will notice one more friend than in prior updates. 🔍

Jerzmo and friends taking a cozy selfie with the fringe of the awning on the Disneyland Railway in the background.

Update #3

What a bunch of hussies.

Jerzmo and friends at a table at which cocktails will arrive at any moment. ⌚

Update #2

Jerzmo and friends waiting to board at ride at California Adventure. And looking awfully enthusiastic.

An update.

Jerzmo drinking a sparkling beverage from an orange plastic cup on front of the "Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout" ride facade.

Sunday funday continues. Watch this space.

Jerzmo, the BF, and friends smiling in front of the Laguna Beach coastline.

A breakfast sandwich, green salad, and matcha latte on a crowded table.

Early morning breakfast in Laguna Beach. (I was out of bed by 7:15am — please clap.)

Jerzmo, the BF, and friends in a cozy booth at an ornate bar.

Jerzmo taking a photo in a bathroom mirror with loud, checkerboard tile, a Venetian glass chandelier, and mirror graffiti of a robot.

A cocktail napkin that says, "Polite as fuck."

Jerzmo and a friend from behind playing Time Crisis II

Adventures in North Park

Jerzmo, the BF, and a friend in front of a large hanging poster for "Here Lies Love", a musical.

Back in Downtown LA for a dose of David Byrne and Fatboy Slim.

Jerzmo and the BF smiling and flanking a poster for "Akhnaten" by Philip Glass

Jerzmo and the BF smiling in front of a large crystal chandelier at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion.

A night at the opera! 🧐🎩

Jerzmo looking quizzically into a newly empty beer stein.

Stein must be broken. I could swear it was full a minute ago.

Jerzmo and the BF shirtless and making faces in a dimly lit bar.

We be mugging.

Jerzmo holding a cream-colored cocktail with trees and glowy lights in the background.

Cheers!

Album art and label for the track "Dynasty (feat. Haley) - Kaskade Arena Mix" by Kaskade and Haley

I just listened to this banger and was immediately transported back to my 20's.

Jerzmo, the BF, friends, and Stella the dog taking a selfie in front of the San Diego Gaslamp District arch.

Valentine's getaway to the San Diego Gaslamp District. Featuring Stella the dog.