theyve been weird ever since visiting us in person, constantly creating distance but just saying theyve been busy. whatever. another thing to put in a compartment bc i cant fucking deal w this right now

a friend broke up with me today, ive been waiting for that shoe to fall off for months, i just wish i knew what the fuck happened

i always try to just let accounts like this be casual and shit but unfortunately i only feel compelled to use them when im in so much distress that i feel almost forced to scream into a void instead of my paper diary where the words just fall back to my own ears

this is mostly a public diary account where i talk about crying, do not feel obligated to follow, you are free to unfollow as well

really grateful for new friends i made recently but it's not the same. i don't know what i did for two of my closest friends to just cut me out of their life

everything was really stressful this morning and it's only gotten worse, to the point where it started to seep into everything, im reminded that all my closest friends just stopped talking to me and im starting to feel the isolation again

i am realizing ive been crying a lot more frequently in general i guess

im just a burden to everyone im not perfect and it causes problems everything i do that isnt being perfect is a problem all i do is cause problems

ive been crying at around 9pm every night on the dot for two nights in a row i am so fucking sick of this i want to be euthanized

just crying at home bc im too poor to do anything and i cant take on more comms bc people already hate me for being so late with them and i feel like im just stuck in a financial hole i will NEVER be able to get out of

like sorry, i was fucking packing and moving into a hotel, my school fucked our entire moving plans and we had to raise emergency funds, this was not fun for me!!! fucking christ

i wish people who did this would just unfollow me so i can block them for being fucking assholes

who the fuck cancels and asks for a refund on a 35 dollar ych after waiting for 1 month . it literally will take me longer to have enough money to refund you than it will for me to finish the comm

there's a couple people i want to break mutuals with, but i just know id be seen as a fucking asshole for doing it, so i keep following them out of fear that if i don't im a bad person lol

there is just like a deep crushing sadness that never fucking goes away and it just continues to ruin my god damn life

im trying so hard to basically be my own physical therapist im trying so hard to lose weight and none of it is working

failed this, i want a new face, i hate my cheeks, my face is so disgusting

nothing good ever lasts, everything is so devastatingly fleeting

i respect teens and give them the space to be around me, but as far as like trying to actively become friends i would just prefer not to, im very not comfortable with that

no offense but I'm over 10 years older than you, what could we possibly have in common

another 19 year old trying to be my friend, girl go away

it's better to keep the thoughts about how fucking lonely i feel all the time to basically myself

i don't like that I've mostly been using this account to be depressed, but most of my other personal thoughts are pretty safe for my work account

i feel like i lost my best friend and every time i try to talk about it nothing gets better

do you ever feel like you've completely fucked your friendships beyond repair

having thoughts about wearing dresses and shit but feeling like im still not ready for it, which sucks total balls

i compared the art styles between these two people and i legit think half the art style "wahhh they copied how i draw" callout posters are smoking straight crack

casually rebranding myself bc im so mad that people are copying my art style then getting mad that i "had" to rebrand