You’ve just spoken something horrible into existence. You really are a witch

I can’t hear you from up there

Have you tasted it? Not the liver I’m concerned about

But what if it got better since the last few times

Should I?

Can I use this to make the government relocate me to Tahiti at their expense?

Charles knows everything. Just ask him

Allows states to find ways to disenfranchise people so this shit head can pretend that’s not his goal

Just watched someone reverse across 4 lanes of traffic. Drunk driving has to be safer than that

@synonymforwet.bsky.social are you having fun tonight?

Why not try 6 on 5 for 60 minutes?

@synonymforwet.bsky.social lol first shot

Nearly zero is not zero. Fingers crossed people

At this point I suggest laughing to keep from crying

Much like all the penguins goalies

This is what they get for letting go of flower

Presidents’ Day is obviously an excuse to drink liquor at each presidents price point (hard to find a nickel but it can be done)

Me: I’m not attending family events unless you all disavow trump
Family: how will I explain your absence to my kids
Me: tell em the truth for once

I’d like to be the shit head that can call it gulf of America without thinking it’s a change but shit my pants if Paul asks to be called Paula

My dog has taken to watching lion king. Just the parts with Timon and pumba. So I’ll change my whole life

Gonna put some old bananas in the freezer for bread I’ll never make. Tale as old as time

Well ya they’ve both been dead for a while

All that green water with the waste management logo in it has to be sewage. It’s in Arizona

Your girlfriend is a Philly guy?

Always knew you were a Philly guy

Because you’re willfully ignorant. Terrible excuse

The fact that you haven’t done it already tells me you’re behind here

Not a bot. Just a guy that doesn’t give money to shitty people willingly