“Listen, Caesar would never cross the Rubicon despite his tweets saying “I’m gonna cross the rubicon and name myself dictator for life!” He loves the Republic.”

- New Rome Times editorial page, January 9, 49 BCE.

Exclusive party for Bored Ape NFT holders ONLY: Come watch as we open the Ark of the Covenant

I needed this laugh

"He's peppy and check out his fashion sense"

Ah, yes. The "people's business" they were anxious to get back to.

Marjorie Taylor Greene thinks the fact that the Earth spins at 1,000 miles an hour and that “we have no idea we’re even moving” means that God must be real. Okay… well, Marjorie’s big mouth moves at 1,000 miles an hour, and I have no idea what she’s even saying, so Satan must be real, too.

Nine human kings with nine of Sauron’s rings, ripe and ready to get absolutely fucking shafted by their new boss

The left are wrong to claim these rings will “corrupt” us, and it’s time we finally stood up to critical wraith theory | my latest for the New Orc Times

Yuuuuuup

D'aw ❤️

Screenshot of a skeet that says, "I keep seeing articles about a woman suing Disney after getting a wedgie on a water slide. To be clear: the woman was injured so badly that her intestines protruded through her abdominal wall and blood gushed out of her. Disney is trying to downplay her very serious injuries" Below the text another screenshot of a headline that says "woman sues Disney for $50k over "injurious wedgie" on waterslide at typhoon lagoon in birthday trip gone wrong"

This is the McDonald's coffee grandma all over again

Clown show gonna clown

My life feels much more manageable without social media

Ghouliani is so handsy. 🤢

My cousin Paul. I was 4 I think. Then I was trapped on my sister's bed and thought, "I'll bounce myself over the lava!" Bounced on the mattress a couple of times, launched, hit the floor with my face and knocked out a tooth.😂

I eat when I'm not hungry

I've been swearing more than usual.

It's ok to be alone. Embrace that shit.

I will be reevaluating my relationship with social media. Would I really be missed? Like REALLY? Lol no.

I'm going to be 53. I shouldn't be so naive. Yet here I am.

Drunk History deserves a reboot

Stop giving Billy McFarland money

I don't understand why so many selfies are in cars. Is it part of a lease agreement?

Our pupper Pigeon is starting to show the signs of being an old girl. I strongly disapprove.

Okay. The folding chair meme is amusing. But society has rules. You can’t just go around beating racist bullies with chairs, firmly grasping two different points of the chair and rotating at the waist during the follow-through

Squeeeeeee!

Bluesky day 1
Hello fellow kids