This is what a man who is well-laid sounds like

Retweet if you want your Christmas presents NOW

a man with long hair is sitting in the driver 's seat of a truck with his eyes closed . ALT: a man with long hair is sitting in the driver 's seat of a truck with his eyes closed .

How it feels after you block Fox News on all the tvs at the gym on Election Day:

My gym just told me they have to add a $14.99/mo surcharge to my membership because of all the extra wear & tear I’m putting on the barbells :-( #beefdad #hipthrust

Jeff Bezos and his girlfriend Lauren Sánchez. Bezos is in a tight fitting shirt, heart-shaped sunglasses, tight white pants, and a white belt. The shirt has a red, gold, and blue pattern in the style of a kitchen backsplash. Sánchez is in a two-piece, sparkly outfit.

aint no way we cut medicaid and housing assistance so jeff bezos could buy this shirt

Was sent to the grocery store with orders to pick up the Devil’s Combo™️

#FartCop

Bro you’re a senator. MAKE that fool arrest you.

We’re all going to die.

The first Senators to actually do anything about the Trump admin

thought it would be funny to watch some Roadrunner cartoons on acid but ten seconds in we're all silent out front of the tv, awed by the desolate beauty of these desert landscapes and struck by the emptiness of the world. should these two lone living souls not seek solace in one another

you know we like to make jokes on here at mark zuckerberg's expense, about how he looks, speaks, and acts. but sometimes you have to step back and remember that all of those mean-spirited things are true. he looks like if you boiled a toad and stretched it out into a guy

Please meet my children: Stankonia, Aquemini, ATLiens, Speakerboxx/TheLoveBelow, Idlewild, and Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik

Gonna have 7 kids and name them after every OutKast album

what looney tunes needs is a prequel where bugs bunny confirms elmer fudd & marvin the martian are not on the spectrum before Targeting them

Elon musk on stage at a trump victory rally doing a jesture that looks suspiciously like a Nazi salute (but totally isn’t we swear)

Elon musk channeling his inner 1940s German citizen (2024)

It’s crazy that Todd Monken has worked with two of the greatest QBs of all time, Lamar Jackson and Stetson Bennett

I’d run through 17 brick walls for Dan Campbell

(Ladies and germs I do NOT speak Polish)

Friends we are absolutely cooked as a species 🇵🇱

one thing i’m stuck on is this idea that “masculine” energy means license to act like a chud in public, as opposed to more traditional notions of public masculinity, such as those that put a premium on the performance of integrity, honesty, honor and generosity.

*Bluesky commenter voice*

“Actually it’s January”

Well a cephalopod doesn’t really have parts but if I had to guess I would say this was his knee

What in the British Empire is this shit

India Pale Ales

As your attorney I recommend the six days tiktok has left

‘We Must Protect The Pure Aryan Bloodline,’ Says Child After 9 Minutes Of Unsupervised Facebook Access PEABODY, MA—Having discovered the social media website open on his father’s unattended laptop, local 6-year-old Oliver Sherman stated “We must protect the pure Aryan bloodline” Friday after nine minut...

‘We Must Protect The Pure Aryan Bloodline,’ Says Child After 9 Minutes Of Unsupervised Facebook Access

Praying for the safety of my friends in LA (John, Anthony, Chad, and Flea)