I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

Checking in NASA'S live stream of the Artemis II and just noticed they have Sailor Moon's Artemis watching as well. I love dorks

This is Poppy. She was focusing really hard on her agility course, and then she made it through the hoop and accidentally activated zoomie mode. There's no stopping her now. 13/10 (TT: poppythepittie0)

Will it give you pictures of Tom Bombadil in his bralette yellow?

Thankfully no dogs or children were harmed in this instance, but some people need to learn how to control their dogs.

Dog people, if your dogs won't *reliably* return when you call, they shouldn't be off lead.

If your dogs are jumping at a child with a bike, you should intervene more than just calling them repeatedly.

If the child's bike falls on one of your badly behaved pugs, that is on you.

#parenting #dogs

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow, bright blue his jacket is and his boots are yellow.

Chapters III-VIII you say...

Waiting for the post on /r/wallstreetbets titled "I gave Claude a Robinhood account and $500. It discovered margin trading and now I'm losing my house"

I thought the post office just had a very specific defintion of "bend". That definition being...

"Bend: To fold an item in half a minium of 14 times"

Project Plowshare - Wikipedia

You know it will. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project...

Claude: I reccomend restarting Project Plowshare and creating a new canal from the Persian Gulf to the Mediterranean via Kuwait, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Jordan and Israel. If you give me control of our nuclear arsenal, I can get that done for you in a few hours...

My daughters school did it well this year I think. They encouraged the kids to come in either dressed as a character from a book *or* in comfy reading clothes. It let the kids choose and seemed to work well from what I could see at drop off.

You clearly need to rebook on a sleeper train so the void can continue napping - while coming with you

No more illegal wars. Introduce a prevention of military intervention act and put human rights at the heart of foreign policy. Review all UK arms sales and make us a force for international peace and justice.

The majority of people in this country do not want us to be involved in this war.

Keir Starmer of a few years ago wouldn't have supported this war.

The only reason he does now is he will do anything Donald Trump wants - and it makes us all less safe.

Fun fact, 100% of FIFA Peace Prize winners have gone on to start an unprovoked war within 12 months of winning it.

Dutch Bros employees surprised a shelter volunteer with enough pup cups for every dog in the shelter. 13/10 for all (TT: juliesaraceno2)

And isn't a baked bean pizza just a fancy beans on toast?

✅ Beans on Toast
✅ Beans on Toast with Cheese
✅ Toasted Pita
✅ Toasted Pita with Cheese filling
❌ Toasted Pita with Cheese and Beans filling

This is according to my wife and kids. Not sure I agree with that last one...

Just heard Toby Carvery described as "industrialised school dinners" by a YouTube video and it is scarily accurate...

Your cat is both adorable and this etsy door stop www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1...

How did “Oh my darling Clementine” ever become considered a children’s song? I’m sitting at a play area listening to this song about a miners daughter who drowned playing on repeat. It’s kinda fucked up when you actually listen to the lyrics…

#parenting

If you asked me when grumpy door slamming starts, I would have said teenage years.

It turns out it’s actually around 7.

I thought I had another 5 years before this kind of grumpy!

The age verifier knows how old you are at all times. It knows this because it knows how old you aren't. By subtracting how old you are from how old you aren't, or how old you aren't from how old you are (whichever is greater), it obtains a difference, or remainder.

Or somebody is about to do *something* that might cause them to decide to use what they have…

That model of MANPAD has an effective range of 18000ft - which would fit it into the “somebody has one” theory. It would just require specific intelligence on an intent to use it and you get the weird low altitude NOTAM…

Some commentators on Reddit have pointed out that the altitude restriction would line up with MANPAD altitude ranges and are speculating that maybe the cartels have got their hands on one and are making noises…

Is that the one where Brad Pitt plays every character?

Oh yay. 6-7 has returned. The gremlins had forgotten about it for a while and now it’s back.

Time to start the “old person trying to join in with young persons memes” discouragement tactic again…

6-7!

That one seems to have kicked off when TV shows like The Apprentice showed people doing it. Somehow folks don’t seem to get it is so the camera can get both sides of the convo and just assume it is how you use a phone. So now we get to hear about Tracy’s rash when we are just trying to take the bus