a crying wesley snipes pointing a gun at someone offscreen

mfw the yellow vs clear piss wars begin

totally. the only times i've used it in the past few years is when someone gets me a gift card to it, and i don't feel like making a stink about it when someone is being generous 😬

it's one of those things that seem difficult before you cut the cord, but the moment you do you realize how incredibly easy it is to live without.

We should normalize celebrating the date you decided to quit using Amazon the way people annually mark their sobriety

can gen z please start a second band please? i'm sick of talking about Geese. (they rock tho)

yeah, i want to hit my ORM regularly but as an act of violence

this plagued me in silver lake for years on end. i won by moving.

"cortisol" is the new "dopamine"

(a word people say a lot and have no idea what it means)

screenshot of a post on Bluesky from @jay.bsky.team on March 30 which says "Bluesky is made with AI, the engineers and even some non-engineers use Claude code"

screenshot of @jay.bsky.team's profile today which is totally empty and not loading

and how's that working out for you?

not worth deleting to fix the typo

stop interviewing clavicle and sneako and other such weirdos

start interviewing their parents

i want to know the conditions from which these little freaks spring forth

"Someone tried to strangle Sneako", "Clavicular just had a drug overdose", I refuse to believe that understanding any of these headlines is better for me than chain-smoking

actually maybe i don't need to know what is going on

well shit. reuters has been my main source of mainstream news for years. no more.

any recs for a daily, big global and national news story email newsletter?

me: *fighting for my life, coughing up the nastiest stuff imaginable*

microsoft teams: Your microphone is currently muted! Press Shift+M to unmute.

this is what true love looks like. if your girlfriend doesn't ask wtf you're talking about every now and then does she even love you

bootleg of The Rock (1996). at least i think. it is called "Sean Connery Vs The Cock" and it also has pictures of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

"you luddites! this tech is going to change the world!"

the tech:

I have some bad news about the military ma’am

If you can believe it, Corsair is majority owned by private equity. So no wonder everything it touches sucks ass now.

My Meze 99 Noir headphones are the best sounding headphones I've ever tried, and they weren't that expensive compared to audiophile stuff.

The internet is a constant disappointment

gear. It was tragic, but at least their two biggest product bases were still around. Corsair bought it in 2023 and it's been in further decline since.

It just sucks that people can't create something cool, see it to its realization and just keep it going because it's good.

oh my god drop.com (formerly Massdrop) has yet again completely decimated their business.

Massdrop was so good. It had such a variety: raw denim, coffee supplies, headphones, pocket knives.

Then they rebranded to Drop. They limited their selection to just mechanical keyboards, and "audiophile"

I Still Believe in the Inherent Goodness of Humankind, and the Literal Existence of the Easter Bunny “Despite it all, I still believe in the unassailable goodness of humanity. I also believe that the Easter Bunny is a real, tangible creature capable of wield...

"Despite it all, I still believe in the unassailable goodness of humanity. I also believe that the Easter Bunny is a real, tangible creature capable of wielding magic and producing plastic eggs filled with individually wrapped candies."

hey thanks!!!

Screenshot of the McSweeney's Internet Tendency homepage, where the latest post is "I Still Believe in the Inherent Goodness of Humankind, and The Literal Existence of the Easter Bunny" by moi, John Danek. There is also an article preview: "Despite it all, I still believe in the unassailable goodness of humanity. I also believe that the Easter Bunny is a real, tangible creature capable of wielding magic and producing plastic eggs filled with individually wrapped candies."

Very pumped to have a new McSweeney up!

Remember: If you experience an Easter Bunny sighting this weekend, please text me asap. I think I know how to trap it.

@mcsweeneys.net

congrats!!!

if your login form says "username" but you actually need a full email address to sign in, i wish for 1,000 years of plagues on your lineage

since it's going to come out in the trial, i might as well get ahead of it now:

i pooped in the turnstile pit.

pikachu with its mouth open in surprise

project managers when you didn't correctly estimate 2 weeks worth of work exactly to the hour

i do not need a custom feed. i need a chronological feed showing posts of the people i follow. i already have that. no need to waste your money on ai.

proud to announce that i am directing a sequel to Project Hail Mary starring John Stamos

Project Have Mercyyyyy