Starting a mid-decade redistricting war only to end up with -1 seats is the same fine strategic genius and subtle grasp of game theory that brough us the Strait of Hormuz.

Wemby is awesome. The Blazers, who haven’t won a championship since 1977, did not have the opportunity to draft him. Their fans are correct to root for Jerami Grant. We will take whatever tiny shafts of light the universe offers.

Frauleinfreude

Tribune of the common clay.

RFK Jr. once chopped off a dead raccoon’s penis to ‘study later’ while on a family road trip The bizarre account was unearthed in the new book “RFK Jr.: The Fall and Rise,” authored by The Post’s own Isabel Vincent, who drew upon a wide range of sources including private …

“RFK Jr., an avid animal genitalia researcher in his spare time, once pulled the family sedan to the side of the road after spying a dead raccoon and swiftly cut off its sex organs so he could ‘study them later.’”

“Avid animal genitalia researcher.”

Via WaPo:

“About 95 percent of the total $93 million raised so far [in the fight over a redistricting referendum] in Virginia, as of a Monday night filing deadline, came from nonprofit groups not required to disclose their donors.”

This is not the activity of a functional democracy.

PLAYOFFS!!!!!

The Blazers are returning to the postseason for the first time since the 2020-21 season!

I would call this the “why does a &#%$! burger cost $18?” metric. I cover beer and this is a constant refrain, even more than the complaints of $8 pints. A few years ago, burgers were twelve bucks and people still can’t adjust to paying 18. That is true at the grocery store as well.

The Dumbest Timelime The Iran invasion summed up by Fran Lebowitz: “Everyone says he is crazy but the scarier thing about him is that he is stupid. You do not know anyone as stupid as Donald Trump. You just don’t.”

The Iran invasion summed up by Fran Lebowitz: “Everyone says he is crazy but the scarier thing about him is that he is stupid. You do not know anyone as stupid as Donald Trump. You just don’t.”

The Dumbest Timelime The Iran invasion summed up by Fran Lebowitz: “Everyone says he is crazy but the scarier thing about him is that he is stupid. You do not know anyone as stupid as Donald Trump. You just don’t.”

The Iran invasion summed up by Fran Lebowitz: “Everyone says he is crazy but the scarier thing about him is that he is stupid. You do not know anyone as stupid as Donald Trump. You just don’t.”

Trump’s blockade of Hormuz has the desperate, I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I? quality of a nine-year-old in a spat with a cleverer sister.

That was sort of true of the beer made 200 years ago but isn’t relevant to the beers called IPA today. But this is all very pedantic history.

(Full disclosure: I write about beer.)

An IPA is a style of beer invented centuries ago in the UK but recreated in the U.S. It is our native beer style and is characterized by the use of native Pac NW hops, which are extremely expressive. IPAs are very aromatic and flavorful. They’re about 50% stronger than “regular” beer.

The greed is wild. Apple is worth nearly $4 trillion but can't tolerate a single store with unionized workers because they're so against workers getting what they deserve.

The main reason Pete is a legit contender for 2028 is demonstrated below. He understands what the message is, and he sticks with it. The old R trick, which Ds *always* fall for, is misdirection. Pete refuses to play along and humiliates Kernen, who is stuck on defense.

In D&D, the coolest character type is gnome.

NYT: “Without question, it was a down-to-the-wire tactical victory, one that should, at least temporarily, get oil, fertilizer and helium flowing again through the Strait of Hormuz, and calm markets that feared a global energy shock would lead to a global recession.”

So the Times has a piece commenting on Iran featuring this staggeringly bad paragraph. Calling this disaster a “victory” at any level is astonishing, but particularly when applied to the problems TRUMP HIMSELF CREATED. You don’t credit a moron’s victory when he stops doing something asinine.

It’s embarrassing to be an American right now, and our lives are materially worse since the election, but I think of the poor people trapped by a repressive regime in Iran who endured 40 days of bombing and it puts it in perspective. We *should be* treated like a pariah state.

So to recap:

❎ Popular uprising
❎ Regime change
❎ Nukes seized
❎ Less dangerous regionally
❎ Permanently weakened
✅ Control Hormuz
✅ More reactive regime
✅ Future reprisals

Iran has taken a beating but left intact. U.S. now considered a pariah state. Heck of a job, Trumpie.

The over/under can’t be longer than 24 hours.

Just to focus in on mental stability. Trump has oscillated btw strait doesn’t matter to I’ll annihilate your country if you don’t open it maybe three times in the last ten days. Has also repeatedly given war crimes deadlines which he then “postpones” based on encouraging talks which never happened.

Reminder that you can put “-ai” at the end of Google searches to eliminate the AI overview

Portland feels your pain.

*startled. (I composed that while the dog was doing her business.)

Even if by the standards of Donald J Trump, it was cray cray. I haven’t been as started by one of his tweets since covfefe.

I invite your exegeses about the context of this particular Easter Day comment, the nature of the implied threat, and the unusual invocation of Allah.

Politics for those who indulge.

All those people who voted for Trump because they wanted to put America first are about to find that we’re actually not that central or exceptional at all.

BREAKING: Donald Trump meets privately with Kash Patel and Pete Hegseth to assure them their jobs are secure, amidst swirling rumors that they may be the next cabinet members to be fired.

#KashPatel #PeteHegseth

Elie is not only very knowledgeable about the Supreme Court, but *far* more entertaining than the average SC-watcher. His live tweeting on the 14th amendment case is a delight.